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Instant Coffee…Instant Friends?

888721_42041444So a few weeks ago my neighbour showed up late on Sunday night, just to talk and hang out. It was great, a lot of fun, he is a really funny guy. But something stuck out to me after he left.  One year ago this would never have happened. It just wouldn’t. It wasn’t that we didn’t like each other, it just wouldn’t have happened. Some things take time.
The point is this, that as a culture we are obsessed with speed. We want our phones to be LTE or 9G or whatever’s the fastest now. We want instant streaming, short posts, quick updates, and most of our desires responded to instantly. I’m not saying that speed is bad, but there are a few things that don’t respond well to speed. The primary one is relationships. Relationships cannot happen instantly. Accepting a friend on Facebook doesn’t instantly make them a true friend. Friendships grow slowly over time. And it’s only with time that they grow.
The reason I bring this is up is because my neighbour would never have come over a year ago because it takes time to get to know people. And while Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter all help friendships grow – the main way they do is through intentional time. So the question I have for us with our friendships is, “Are we giving them time to grow?” Are we investing in the neighbours, community, and co-workers God has placed in our lives? Are we caring for our friends…really? Are we giving them our attention and time?”
The one thing we cannot get more of is time. So I think it’s the one thing that is worth giving to those friends around us. So today who can you give your time to? Who can you invest in? Because to be honest, there isn’t much better than good friends, randomly showing up, and hanging out.
by Andrew Mills

“Judge Not” – Jesus…Pretty Clear Right?

1409595_99556189On Sunday we looked at Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 7 where he says don’t judge. What I think is important to recognize is that here Jesus isn’t saying there isn’t right or wrong. He isn’t teaching some relativistic ~ do whatever you want just don’t hurt anyone. What he is teaching is how to go about dealing with right and wrong in the context of relationships. He is talking about what to do with the hurt, missed expectations, and messiness of relationships.

He begins by reminding us not to judge. This is because judgment always separates us from God and others. Whenever we judge we separate ourselves from another person, place ourselves above them, and set expectations of them. This is the essence of what we do when we judge someone. Think of a court where the judge is high and distant from the accused. This is what we do in a relationship when we judge.

We also separate ourselves from God. We actually place ourselves in his role and his seat when we judge others. The bible is clear, God is the judge, which means we are not. D. A. Carson writes, “The disciple who takes it on himself to be the judge of what another does usurps the place of God, and therefore becomes answerable to him”. This is serious stuff. Judgment separates us from God and others.

It also blinds us. Bonhoeffer writes, “By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are”. His point is that when we judge we place ourselves in God’s shoes, and forget that we aren’t perfect and we need grace just as much as everyone else. The serious part of Jesus’ challenge though is that he says the measure you use to judge others, will be the measure used to judge you. So if you refuse to give grace and mercy to others, which is every time you judge, then God will not be able to give grace and mercy to you. Carson puts it this way: The judgmental person, by not being forgiving and loving, testifies to his own arrogance and impenitence, by which he shuts himself out of God’s forgiveness”.

This is why it is so serious and can’t be part of the Kingdom or Christian’s lives.

So Jesus goes on to teach then how to deal with hurt and wrong in relationships. His point isn’t that everything is healthy, but how to deal with the unhealthy stuff in relationships. So he says deal with your own plank, before trying to help someone else (Matthew 7:3). The point is that we are called to deal with our sin, stuff, and brokenness before trying to fix someone else.

The brilliance of Jesus is that as we deal with our stuff, and experience God’s grace, blessing, and transformation it will change how we relate to others. No longer will we be relating to others through judgment and condemnation on our high horses. But instead, we will stoop low and help to support and love broken and hurting people.

Jesus’ challenge to Christians is to stop judging, deal with your own stuff, and then help others. And I think this is a challenge I know I need to hear. It’s so easy to judge, but Jesus is calling us to do the hard work of living differently.

So I left us with a challenge to try to simply get rid of judging this week. I know it will be hard, and maybe even impossible. But the beautiful thing about God is that he sometimes steps in and the impossible happens…

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Stop judging, and start dealing with your stuff

Take Aways…

  • What if we actually did what Jesus said?
  • The temptation: to turn our good actions into reasons to rank ourselves higher than others
  • Judgment separates and blinds us
  • The disciple who takes it on himself to be the judge of what another does usurps the place of God, and therefore becomes answerable to him. D.A. Carson
  • By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are Dietrich Bonhoeffer
  • The judgmental person by not being forgiving and loving testifies to his own arrogance and impenitence, by which he shuts himself out of God’s forgiveness. D.A. Carson
  • We need to deal with our stuff, before focusing on someone else’s stuff.
  • When you deal with your stuff, you’ll be in a position to help, because you’ll have been transformed by grace.
  • Give up judging this week
  • Condemnation – giving and receiving it – is such a large part of our ‘normal’ human existent that we may not even be able to imagine or think of a world without it. Dallas Willard
  • Notice when your judging, choose to love, and confess our sins to God.
  • When we judge other people we confront them in a spirit of detachment, observing, and reflecting as it were from the outside. But love has neither time nor opportunity for this. If we love, we can never observe the other person with detachment, for his is always and at every moment a living claim to our love and service. Bonhoeffer
  • How can I love them
  • What plank do I have in my eye?
  • If when we judged others, our real motive was to destroy evil, we should look for evil where it is certain to be found, and that is in our own hearts. Bonhoeffer

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What stuck out to you from the sermon? What was challenging to you? How did God speak to you through it? What was new?

What did you find hardest about this teaching? How natural does judging feel for you? Why is it so hard to give up judging? What “reward” do you get from it? What situations do you find yourself most likely to judge? How can you start to practice what Jesus preaches? Who are you called to love this week rather than judge? Who can help you to follow in this teaching? What plank is Jesus asking you to deal with? Who can you ask about your “planks”? What do you think about the last Bonhoeffer quote?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Today rather than talking to your kids about this teaching, and judging. Ask them if its something they do a lot or not. Teach them that judging is wrong, but loving is right. Ask them to this week whenever they feel a judging thought – to instead think of one nice thing about the person.

Challenge for this Week: Give up judging

by Andrew Mills

Jesus Didn’t Really Mean Don’t Judge Right…

1409594_29311718This Sunday we are looking at probably the most important teaching of Jesus for our day and age. I say this because two of the 3 tops things Christians in North America are known for is being judgmental, and hypocritical. The irony, and also the deep sadness is that Jesus is really clear: do not judge. (Matthew 7:1)

Soren Kierkegaard once said something like, the Bible is clear, most Christians just don’t want to follow it. And I think of that often in terms of this teaching of Jesus. It couldn’t be clearer but it also couldn’t be less practiced.

So on Sunday I want to help us begin to practice this by peeling back some of the layers and seeing how when we judge we separate ourselves from others and God. I want to discover how Jesus’ teaching is so freeing, brilliant, and amazing that we should want to live this way.

I know sometimes it’s hard to imagine a world without judging and condemning because it is so normal to us. But we need to imagine a world without it, we need to practice a world without – because that’s God’s kind of world. That’s God’s kingdom, a community and a place where people don’t judge but go graciously to one another. A place where people deal with their own stuff, rather than trying to deal with someone else’s. A place where people who have experienced grace, share grace.

So I think this Sunday matters because I think we need to learn how to live without judgment. I think we desperately need to learn how to live without condemning others. I think we need to learn to live like Jesus – or at least I do. Because judging comes so naturally to me, it’s so easy to have a running dialogue of judging thoughts go through my head. But here Jesus is clear, don’t judge. And my honest belief is that if Jesus taught it, we should do it. And not only that, he will provide a way for us to do it. And that’s what we want to discover, a way to live without judgment.

So that’s where we are going, but before we get there why not do this little thought experiment for the rest of the weekend. Why not just try to notice how often you judge. And as you do think about how your relationships and this world might be changed if we just got rid of that. I think it’s worth trying to do. What about you?

by Andrew Mills

Daddy I want to See Jesus

1546346_10153774735840643_1140271855_nEarlier last week as I was getting Hudson dressed we were having a conversation. And I told him that his mommy and me love him and Asher more than anyone else in the world. Hudson then said that he knows that and loves us too – and that “lots of people love him”. He then started counting off the people who love him, “Grandma, Nana, Papa, Cousin Caleb” and on and on. He also said that Jesus loves him. And I said, “yes of course Jesus loves you!”

And then he said something that is both profound and true, “But daddy I wish Jesus wasn’t invisible. I want to see Jesus”.

And I thought to myself how true. People need to not only hear about Jesus, but they need to see him. They need to see him through our actions, our words, and our deeds. My prayer is that as Hudson grows up, he will come to know Jesus through how I love him, how Jesus changes me, and through his own personal encounters with Jesus.

But the first step for so many people – before they encounter the Risen Christ themselves is to “see him”. And I think this is where we, as his followers, need to be intentional. Through our actions, our words, our deeds and our creative acts of love people can come into contact with Jesus through us. They can see him through us. This is both our privilege and our calling. We can be the hands and feet of Jesus. We can bring Jesus to people in tangible ways. We can not only represent him, but reflect him to the people around us.

And so I believe and pray that as I follow Jesus, that Hudson will grow up learning to not only see Jesus but encounter him himself. But I also know I have a huge role to play in this. I can be a hindrance or a help to his seeing and encountering Jesus.

So the question I’d like to leave you with is this: is your life helping people to “see” Jesus?

And maybe a better question: how can you live your life in such a way that people “see” Jesus more clearly through you?

Because Hudson is right – people want to see Jesus.

by Andrew Mills

Do Good Deed Publicly, But not For Publicity – Matthew 6:1-4

On Sunday we looked at this teaching of Jesus found in Matthew 6.

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Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

The point Jesus is making is that we should be doing good deeds. Christians should be doing acts of service, and generosity. And we should be doing them publicly. The point isn’t that our actions shouldn’t be seen, but that we shouldn’t do actions to be seen.

The paradox Jesus is teaching: we are to do our actions publicly, but we aren’t to do our actions to receive publicity.

Jesus is really trying to get at the heart behind the actions. Is our intention in doing good deeds to be faithful to God, or receive admiration from others? Are we giving out a response to God’s blessing, or a response to the recognition of those around us? Are we following God because it’s right, or because we want to be seen doing what’s right?

The only difference between a bribe and a gift ~ are the intentions behind the gift.

So I think Jesus’ main point is that our intentions matter in our actions. Dallas Willard writes “When we do good deeds to be seen by human beings, that is because what we are looking for is something that comes from human beings” And he’s right. Are we doing good deeds for God or others?

Jesus then gives this difficult teaching that we shouldn’t let our left hand know what our right hand is doing. Willard explains what this seemingly impossible teaching means: People who have been so transformed by their daily walk with God, have good deeds naturally flow from their character, are precisely the kind of people whose left hand would not notice what their right hand is doing…What they do they do naturally, often automatically, simply because of what they are pervasively and internally.”

What it means is that as we follow Jesus we can become the type of people who so naturally do the right things, that it’s automatic without premeditation and with pure intentions.

The question we ended with is how do we get there? How do we keep our intentions clear and pure? The answer is really simple: focus on Jesus, not on the action. We are to do good deeds keeping our focus on him, not on others, and not on ourselves. In this way we will actually hide our good deeds from ourselves.

Bonhoeffer in his usual brilliance writes this: “From whom are we to hide the visibility of our discipleship? Certainly not from other men, for we are told to let them see our light. No. We are to hide it from ourselves. Our task is simply to keep on following, looking only to our Leader who goes on before, taking no notice of what we are doing”.

This is the way to follow Jesus’ teaching here. Do good, but focus on him. And that’s the challenge we left with – to go out into the world doing good, but focusing on Jesus.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Your intentions matter

Take Aways…

  • What if we actually did what Jesus said?
  • The temptation: you stop doing the right actions because you are blessed by God, and start to do it because you are seen and noticed by others
  • “When we do good deeds to be seen by human beings, that is because what we are looking for is something that comes from human beings” Dallas Willard
  • Jesus is really presenting to us a paradox: We need to publicly do good deeds, but we must never do good deeds for publicity
  • That our intentions matter
  • Our good deeds are to shine before others, but we are not to do our good deeds so that we shine before others
  • “What matters are the intentions of our hearts before God” Dallas Willard
  • “From whom are we to hid the visibility of our discipleship? Certainly not from other men, for we are told to let them see our light. No. We are to hide it from ourselves. Our task is simply to keep on following, looking only to our Leader who goes on before, taking no notice of what we are doing”. Bonhoeffer
  • When we focus on Jesus we lose sight of ourselves and more importantly of the others around us.

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What stuck out to you from the sermon? What was challenging to you? How did God speak to you through it? What was new? What did you find hardest about this teaching? What good deeds have become habits in your life? How can you focus on simply doing good, rather than the rewards of doing good? What good actions – giving, serving, praying etc – can you do this week with a focus on Jesus?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Today rather than talking to your kids about this teaching, why not put it into practice with them. Give to them, care for them, really spend time with them. Not because then “you’re a good parent” but because its important. Focus on them and Jesus, and not yourself.

Challenge for this Week: Do good, but focus on Jesus.

 

by Andrew Mills

Heart, Motives, and Following Jesus

On Sunday we are looking at another difficult teaching of Jesus – we are looking at our heart and motives.1206356_27758998

The truth is that if you follow Jesus deeply and truly, lives will be changed in and around you. And people may even start to notice, respect, and trust you. This is all fine as it goes. The temptation though is this: that as you gain respect and trust you do good deeds not for Jesus, but for others.

Or more succinctly put the temptation is that you do good deeds and right actions not as a response to God, but as a response to others.

This is the temptation that I think we all face if we follow Jesus, and that’s what we are going to be looking at on Sunday.  Jesus says, “Don’t do your good deeds for publicity…When you give don’t even let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Matthew 6:1,4). We’re going to be exploring how it is even possible to follow this teaching of Jesus. Because normally it seems pretty impossible to give with your right hand, and to not have your left hand know what you’re doing. Jesus isn’t talking here about split personalities, but actually a whole and integrated heart.

So we’ll get into all of that.

But before we get there here is my question for you today, that I’m asking myself as well. Do I do good deeds for God, or for others? Do I do the right thing because I love God, or I love the recognition and admiration of others?

In essence the question is: What are the intentions with my actions? To be committed to God or to get credit from others?

Good question…

by Andrew Mills

Loving Enemies and Following Jesus

1336079_98421028So on Sunday we looked at a really difficult but defining teaching of Jesus: love your enemies. This is a defining teaching of Jesus because it should define us as his followers. As Jesus himself says, everyone in the world loves those who love them. That’s normal, that natural, and that’s easy. Christians are called to be different than those around us, but the way we love not just our neighbors but our enemies.

This is Jesus’ teaching. Love your enemies.

And he grounds this teaching in something so important for us. He grounds this teaching in his revelation of who the Father is. He says we are to love our enemies in Matthew 5:45 because this makes us true children of our Father. That just as the Father loves those who oppose him, how he sends rain and sunshine on the good and evil, and how he has particularity for grace ~ so should we as Christians. The point is that if God is about grace, forgiveness, and love of enemies, we too need to be as Christians. The truth is this: there is no room for hate in the Kingdom because there is no room for hate in God.

And we need to get this straight because our view of God shapes our behaviors. If we believe God is hateful, we become hateful. If we believe God is loving, we become loving. So Jesus grounds our behavior in our belief of a loving God.

We ended with the challenge to actually love our enemies. We recognized the ridiculousness of this. That it might not change our enemies, it won’t protect us from hurt, and it won’t be easy. It is though the way of the Kingdom. Bonhoeffer says this: “Jesus does not promise that when we bless our enemies and do good to them they will not despitefully use and persecute us. They certainly will. But not even that can  hurt or overcome us, so long as we pray for them.” Our love, prayer, and good deeds regardless of the change in our enemy needs to be our behavior. Bonhoeffer continues, “The will of God is that men should defeat their enemies by loving them. Am I asked how this love is to behave? Jesus gives the answer: bless, do good, and pray for your enemies without reserve and without respect of persons”.

And that’s how we ended the challenge from Jesus: pray for enemies, do good to enemies, and bless your enemies. Let’s just see what might happen in our world and our lives if we take Jesus’ teaching seriously.

What might happen if we actually lived it out?

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Love your enemies

Take Aways…

  • What if we actually did what Jesus said?
  • God is not a God of hate
  • If we are not clear on who God is we will not be clear on how to live.
  • If you have a false idea of God, the more religious you are the worse it is for you – it were better for you to be an atheist. William of Canterbury
  • You become the god, you follow.
  • Praying for an enemy and loving him will prove mutually reinforcing. The more love, the more prayer; the more prayer the more love. D.A. Carson
  • Love your enemies
  • Our enemies are not “people in general” but “personal people” we know and interact with.
  • Loving your enemies won’t make your life easier, better, or less problematic ~ it will make your life like Jesus’
  • Jesus was not crucified for saying or doing what made sense to everyone. Will Willimon and Stanley Hauerwas
  • The Christian principle ‘love your enemy is good … there is nothing to be said against it except that it is too difficult for most of us to practice sincerely. Bertrand Russell
  • Through the medium of prayer we go to the our enemy, stand by his side, and plead for him to God. We are doing vicariously for them what they cannot for themselves. Every insult they utter only serves to bind us more closely to God and them. Bonhoeffer
  • Love your enemies.

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What stuck out to you from the sermon? What was challenging to you? How did God speak to you through it? What was new?

What did you find hardest about this teaching? What did you find compelling? Who right now is an enemy God might be calling you to love? How can you pray for them? How might you do good towards them? How can you bless them? Who can help support you in this and encourage you in loving your enemies? Whom can you support in their effort to love their enemies? How can you help them?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Talk to your kids about today’s teaching. Talk to them about how there can be no hate in God’s kingdom. Ask them who they have as an enemy right now. Ask them if they’d like to pray for them and pray for them together.

Challenge for this Week: Love your enemies: do good, pray, and bless them.

 

 

by Andrew Mills

Morning Prayer for Times of Transition and Change

1427667_31525848This was my prayer this morning:

God there is much before me, and much unknown. But you are also before me, help me to find you, and find your way.

Today is my first day without my friend and co-pastor Dave here at the church. He’s been called up north to continue his really wonderful relational ministry there. That leaves a large hole, or many different holes here to fill.

So as I was praying this morning and looking forward I realized that there is a lot of unknowns before not only me but also the church right now. What if we don’t find the right person? What if I make mistakes as I lead? What if in the transition I unintentionally hurt someone or miss something? There are a lot of “what if’s” whenever things change.

But as I prayed I realized something – even though a lot is unknown, there are a lot of potential pitfalls, and mistakes will surely be made (we are all human after all). One thing is sure. God is also before us. God is also leading us. God is also with us.

So even amidst change, transition, and uncertainty – I don’t believe we need to be fearful. Instead I think our call is simply to remain faithful. Faithful to God, and faithful to one another.

Because I really believe one thing is certain ~ God is before us. And if we look for him we will find him, and find his way for us.

So whatever today you might be facing, whatever uncertainty wonderings, or difficult futures I think the point is the same for you. God is before you, search and find him, follow him and he will get you through. The way may not be clear now, but the calling is: finding God and following God.

So may you do that this morning, and maybe even pray my morning prayer with me:

God there is much before me, and much unknown. But you are also before me, help me to find you, and find your way.

Amen.

by Andrew Mills

Jesus’ Simplest and Hardest Teaching…

love enemiesOn Sunday we are looking at one of the simplest and most radical of all the teaching of Jesus. It’s this: Love your enemies.

Bertrand Russell, a Christian man who later became an atheist and deep thinker, once famous said:

“The Christian principle ‘love your enemy is good … there is nothing to be said against it except that it is too difficult for most of us to practice sincerely”.

What I think is interesting is that he doesn’t debate the beauty or rightness of Jesus’ statement. He debates its practicality or the average person’s ability to practice it. And I agree with him wholeheartedly, that this teaching of Jesus is difficult to practice. And it is difficult because it is counter cultural, it requires discipline, and most of  all, it requires inspiration as well.

So on Sunday I want to really explore and dream about how our lives might be different if we actually practiced this teaching of Jesus. As Jesus himself says, “everyone loves who love them back”. What might happen though if we became a community of people who took seriously Jesus’ teaching to love others. How might that shape and change us?

And so we are going to be diving into the world of neuroscience, our view of God, and of course, a few thoughts from Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

My argument on Sunday will be pretty simple.

  • It’s not that loving enemies is easy: it isn’t.
  • It’s not that loving enemies makes sense: it doesn’t.
  • It’s not that loving enemies will make them be nice to us: it probably won’t.
  • It’s that loving our enemies is the way of Jesus Christ.

Loving our enemies is not easy,  it’s certainly not practical, and it won’t ensure you never get hurt again. Loving your enemies sometimes mean you end up on a cross; sometimes it means being left alone and abandoned, and sometimes it means that the entire world gets changed…

So that’s where we’re going, but why wait to hear it on Sunday. Why not practice it today? Why not try to love those around you today? It won’t be easy or simple, but it will be the way of Jesus. And that should be enough…

by Andrew Mills

Worship…It’ll eat you alive

I read a quote recently that really got me thinking. It’s from David Foster Wallace, the novelist and writer, and he said this:

In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship…The compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship…is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive.
And I think he’s really right especially the last line. That anything else you worship will eat you alive.
The biblical word for this is idolatry. That’s when you place things before God, or in God’s spot. And while we do this sometimes either out of naivety, rebellion, or from a mistake, it never ends up well.
Think about it. Greed is essentially the idolatry of money – and greed will eat you alive. Pride is the idolatry of the self – and pride will eat you alive and any relationship you’re in. Position and recognition is the idolatry of power – and it too will eat you alive if you worship it.
Because the truth is what you worship is what will own and direct  you. And with every other single thing we worship other than God, leads us to a place of hurt, difficulty, and pain. Or in the Biblical language – destruction. Or in David Foster Wallace’s language you’ll be “eaten alive”. Chasing after money, pride, power, position, or anything other than God never brings health and freedom.
The trouble with worship and idolatry is that we often don’t realize what we worship until it’s too late. Until we’ve been “eaten alive” – a relationship fails, our identity cracks, or we hit rock bottom. The point is that I think David Foster Wallace is right – everybody worships. The question is what are you worshipping? Is it bringing you health, life, and freedom? Or is it slowly eating away at you? At your hope, meaning, and purpose?
by Andrew Mills