Category: Personal Musings

Pure Joy and Pure Wonder

This is a picture of Hudson. I think it just shows pure joy. I love this picture because it is who Hudson truly is. He is a boy with a lot of joy.

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And to be honest Hudson shows his joy and thankfulness a lot. His prayers at supper and lunch tend to be long as he thanks God for everything he can think of. They are full of joy of what he has done in the day and hopes to do.

What amazes me is how much he has to thank God for, things I don’t even think of. He thanks God for all his cars (often by name…so it takes a while). He thanks God for our family, for Grandma and Nana and Papa (often also praying that he will go there on Tuesday), and for sunshine, for his backpack, for Skylanders, and for everything else.

I got to wondering if part of the reason Hudson is so joyful in this picture is because he is able to be so “present” to things?

Every experience for Hudson is like a brand new experience. He enters into with eyes-wide-open. We have been to the Splash Pad in that picture dozens of times, but he loves it like it’s new each and every time. There is a sense of wonder that permeates his life. There is a sense of joy that spills out.

I wonder when was the last time I felt like that?

When was the last time you looked like that picture?

I think this is something to strive for. I think this is something to seek, about being at a place of pure joy. So this week practice being thankful, practice entering into familiar places and relationships with wonder and awe. Practice being fully present. And if none of those things work. Why not try running through a splash pad…

“The insights of wonder must be constantly kept alive…I did not ask for success; I asked for wonder. And you gave it to me”. Abraham Joshua Heschel

by Andrew Mills

Learning to Trust in the Dark Times

Have you ever noticed that difficulty seems to come all at once? Where health challenges, a death, a major car bill, an unexpected family fall out all happens in the same week.1418812_77341743

So the question I want to look at is how do you get through a really difficult week, month, or even year? How do you get through a time where all sorts of crisis happen all at once? Yes of course, as a pastor, the answer is Jesus, but what does that actually mean?

Well what I’ve learned over the years is that the way to get through difficult times is to invest in trust – trust in Jesus, others, and even ourselves.

The first person I try to place my active trust in – is God. I want to be specific what that means for me. For me it means reminding myself that Jesus is good, true, faithful, and loving. When difficulty happens it can so easily take all of our focus and we forget that God is still good and in control. So I seek to remind myself that God is not caught off guard, God is not unmoving up in heaven. Our God is active, caring, loving, and faithful. God will lead me through whatever I am facing, and I seek to place my trust in him.

I also try to trust in my friends. By this I mean those people who God has placed in my life and have been walking with me. Jesus so often shows up in a difficult week through the actions, words, and encouragements of my friends and family. A wife who does something special, a friend who texts to say they are praying for me out of the blue, or some produce from a neighbor. This is how Jesus often shows up in practical ways through other people giving their time, support, and encouragement. This is something I’ve been learning to lean on and even ask for in a difficult week. Ask for care, ask for support, ask for prayer and trust in those God has placed around you.

And lastly, I try to trust in myself. This seems at first rather self-centered so let me clarify what I mean. I seek to trust in who Jesus has called me to be, and how he has been working in my life. What I try to trust in – is the God who has been shaping me, forming me, who is within me, and who will lead me. So when I’m tired, and unsure what to say or do I trust that God will use me. I trust in the abilities he has given me, and the promise that if I’m willing he will use me. I think we need to do the same to trust that God wants to use each and everyone of us. To trust that as followers of Jesus, we have the Holy Spirit within us, and Jesus wants to use the gift and abilities we have to get through a difficult time.

So if difficulty sneaks up on you, or crisis surprises you, this is how I’ve been learning to make it through. Trusting in the goodness of Jesus Christ, trusting in support he’s placed around me, and trusting in who he has called me to be.

So that’s me. What about you? What has helped you get through a long week? Do you have friends or family you can rely on? If not, do you have a church that you can call for support? Are you remembering that God is good and his purposes for your life is good? Are you trusting in what he is doing in and through you?

In essence are you trusting him?

And I hope you are, but if today for whatever reason trust is low here is my prayer for you today:

That God would prove his trustworthiness in amazing and ordinary ways to you this week. That you would sense his provision, his goodness, and his grace. That friends would surprise you with support, and God would assure you of his care. That your trust would grow. Grace and peace.

by Andrew Mills

Hudson is a Copying Machine

My little boy Hudson is a copying machine. He copies everything I do. He’s recently started being really interested in coffee (which is great!) and1312_10153003547360643_74897867_n in my morning routine. He now brushes his teeth with me, watches me shave (what little facial hair I have) and talks with me.

Yesterday I found Hudson in our bathroom and told him it was time to go to a friend’s. He said “One minute Daddy”. And then he got out my deodorant and put it on.

He is copying everything I am doing, and in fact I really like it. Knowing that he is watching makes me want to live better. I hope my life is worth imitating.

This is something that Paul gets at. He actually says, “imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). What I realized is that my life needs to be worth imitating. My life needs to be so Christ-like that when Hudson starts to act like me, he is actually acting like Jesus.

Reading that verse made me reflect on whether or not my life was sufficiently Christ-like. Because it is so easy to tell people to follow Jesus without giving them an example. The much harder path of discipleship is to tell people to imitate ourselves, as we imitate Christ. To say, “If you want to know what following Jesus looks like, watch me.” And while this way of teaching is the hardest, because it requires the most congruence, it is also how people learn best. I know this because I see it in Hudson all the time. He learns best  through watching, and following. I hope that through watching and following me, he is not only learning to shave, but to follow Christ. My hope is that he isn’t just picking up on my quirks but my Lord.

So I want to end with one question. Can you say to your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers like Paul – “Imitate me as I imitate Christ” Is your lifestyle worth following or worth imitating? And if not, what do you need to change so that you can say that? Because people learn best by watching and following, and the world needs to know not only about Jesus but to see the example of Jesus through our lives.

So what are people seeing in your life?

My hope is that when Hudson watches and follows me, he isn’t just following his dad, but also his Savior. That’s my hope for my little boy, and it’s the hope of my life. That my life points people to someone greater than just me, that it points people to Jesus.

by Andrew Mills

Glocal: Getting involved Locally and Globally

This past week I was in Germany for International Board meetings for cbm Canada (www.cbmcanada.org). This is an organization that is absolutely fully committed to breaking the cycle of poverty and disability. They practice deep transparency, inclusion, and fantastic work. I heard stories of people being changed through medical interventions. I heard stories of people receiving sight, of being included where they were ostracized before, of lives and communities being changed through their work. And what I realized was something really beautiful: it’s not just their work, but also my work.

This is something that is powerful about the day and age we live in. My life no longer can just have a local impact, but a global impact. We can spread the Kingdom of God not only here, but also all over the world. The impact and influence of our lives are not confined to our neighborhood, or even nation. Our actions can change our communities here, and in Kuala Lumpur. The point is simple, if we follow Jesus our lives should change people locally and globally. Our lives should change others locally and globally through our service, our advocacy, and our giving.

And so this week as I heard stories, I realized I was a part of those stories.

So my question to you is simple: what stories are you involved in? What stories is your life contributing to? Is your life changing lives not only here but also all over the world? Because we have an amazing gift, and a responsibility to partner with God’s Kingdom change everywhere.

So my challenge to you is this: get involved locally and globally.

If you aren’t consistently and regularly ensuring that your resources, time, and finances are changing lives globally, then I think this is something worth changing. In fact, I know it’s worth changing, because you will be investing in changing lives. So adopt a sponsor child, challenge your friends to join with you, and choose to regularly give. Obviously I’m biased as to what organization you should be involved with, but I’d rather you give anywhere than nowhere. So spend some time, research, and get involved. Because the way you live, can and should change the way others live across the world. This is both our calling and our privilege, and it’s a beautiful thing to be apart of.

by Andrew Mills

The Failure of Religion

1412713_28106567Recently I was reading some of my notes on Abraham Joshua Heschel’s excellent book “God in Search of Man”.  I came across this quote that I’d wrote down. I thought I would share it because of its depth, its challenge, and I think its truth:
“It is customary to blame secular science and anti-religious philosophy for the eclipse of religion in modern society. It would be more honest to blame religion for its own defeats. Religion declined not because it was refuted, but because it became irrelevant, dull, oppressive, insipid. When faith is completely replaced by creed, worship by discipline, love by habit; when the crisis of today is ignored because of the splendor of the past; when faith becomes an heirloom rather than a living fountain; when religion speaks only in the name of authority rather than with the voice of compassion – it’s message becomes meaningless.”
What do you think about it? When I read this quote, it so convicted me as a pastor, because the life of faith shouldn’t be dull or insipid. But I wonder how often faith moves from a living fountain, to a dead pool? I also wondered how am I ensuring that the faith I preach is living? That the love I espouse is active? That the relationship I have with God never becomes irrelevant, dull, or oppressive. These are the questions that this quote brings up for me that I’m thinking through today.
What about you? What do you think about it? What questions does it bring up?
by Andrew Mills

You Can’t Have Multiple Best Friends

freindsA week or so ago my little boy was up very early…like way too early. He runs into our room, and says “Daddy wake up, wake up!”

And just as I was about to tell him to go back to bed he said, “I have a secret for you”

Now we often do this and I whisper secrets like, “I love you, you’re special, you’re a good boy” to him.

So he leaned over and said to me, “Daddy you’re my best friend.”

Pretty hard to be upset with him early in the morning after that right? And, in fact, this was a new one because I don’t tell Hudson that because – well we have two kids. So I don’t say “you’re my favorite, or best son”. But I loved every minute of him snuggling up with me saying, “You’re my best friend”

Then later on that morning as we’re about to leave, Hudson leans over to my wife and says, “Mommy you’re my best friend”. We go to my mom’s and he says to my mom, “Grandma you’re my best friend”

Apparently my son doesn’t get the idea of “best” because he has multiple best friends. But I got to thinking about it and wondered if honestly this isn’t a good thing. Hudson doesn’t feel like his friends need to be ranked, that one person’s affection diminishes another person’s, or that his relationships are in competition. Instead he sees something special in all of them and calls them his “best friend”.

I actually wonder if this little truth isn’t a lot like God. I wonder if God wouldn’t call each and every one of us, his personal best friend being fully invested in each relationship?

And the beautiful thing about it is that I’m happy that Hudson calls me, his mom, grandma and so many other people his best friend. I want him to have those strong relationships, and it doesn’t take anything away from my relationship with my little boy.

I wonder if we all couldn’t learn something from that. Rather than competing in relationships why not be grateful for them? Rather than ranking relationships why not simply rest in the relationships you have? So I’m trying to learn a little something from Hudson. That I now have multiple best friends: Hudson, Asher, Krista, and many more. What about you?

by Andrew Mills

The God of Limits

limitsUsually we think of God as unlimited in everything. And in a traditional sense I think this is true and good. That his love is limitless, that his power is vast, and his forgiveness faithful and overflowing.

The trouble is that we forget that Jesus had limits, so we forget or pretend that we don’t have limits. The point is that if the Son of God had limits and created healthy boundaries on earth so should we as his followers. I know that it might seem weird to think of Jesus having limits, but that’s what the Gospels seem to point to. Jesus didn’t heal everyone there was. Jesus didn’t convince and save everyone around him. Jesus wasn’t able to change everyone. Jesus got tired. Jesus retreated. Jesus got frustrated with the disciples. Jesus had limits and he knew it.

The problem is that Christians, and pastors especially, forget that we have natural limits. We forget that we can’t save everyone, and having healthy boundaries isn’t a bad thing, it’s a necessary thing. The problem is that we believe it is our “mission” to change the world and save as many as possible, even at the expense of our families, friends, and personal health. The problem with that is twofold: first it’s not our mission, it’s God’s; second not respecting our natural limits and boundaries doesn’t follow Jesus’ example. Jesus got tired and retreated. Jesus provided for his family. Jesus as a human being had limits because all of humanity has limits. This is not a bad thing, in fact it is a wonderful thing. The limitless God above, wants to use us even with our limits, but we must recognize that we each have limits. I can’t meet with everyone. I can’t save everyone. I can’t give to everyone. Sometimes I have to say no. Sometimes I need to not check my emails. Sometimes I need to trust that God can handle things without me for a while.

Parker Palmer writes, “Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves, but for the many others who lives we touch.”

I think he’s right, because that truth flows from the life of Jesus. Jesus didn’t run himself ragged, burnout, and falter because he took care of himself so he could accomplish something greater than himself. That’s our calling too. To take care of ourselves so we can accomplish something greater than ourselves.

So today take care of yourself, in ways that make sense for you: rest, pray, play, take a walk, read, cook a good meal, say no to something. Become aware of limits, and don’t worry about overcoming them, trust in God to work within them.

by Andrew Mills

Listening with Your Eyes

Here is an old story:

397378_10151635582662040_814112548_nA little girl came home from the school with a drawing she’d made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.

“Mom guess what”, she squealed waving her drawing.

Her mother never looked up. “What” she said, tending to the pots.

“Guess what!”, the child repeated waving the drawing.

“What” the mother said tending to the plates.

“Mom you’re not listening”

“Sweetie yes I am” – said the mother.

“Mom”, the child said, “You’re not listening with your eyes”.

I think this is true for us in today’s age more than ever. So many of us when we are listening to one another we no longer listen with our eyes. We don’t deeply show our attention, our empathy, and our connection to the people we are listening to. We check our phones, check the clock, check our surroundings, but aren’t checking in with the person we are actually talking with.

I know I am as guilty as most. I’m tempted when my phone buzzes to check that text. I’m tempted to just quick check Twitter. I’m tempted to look at the clock. None of these things are bad, but all of these things communicate that the person you are talking with isn’t your top priority. In essence I’m tempted to not listen with my eyes, and then not with my heart either.

And here is why this matters, because my bet is that if someone has influenced and changed you in a deep way ~ they were a good listener. My bet is they made you a priority. My guess is they showed that you mattered by giving you their undivided attention. But having someone’s undivided attention is so rare these days, but that’s why it’s so valuable, counter-cultural, and transformational. How often you do you think your kids have someone completely rapt attention in the day? How often does your co-worker have someone truly interested in them and not just waiting for their turn to speak? How often does your neighbor have someone who isn’t rushing by but listening with their heart and eyes?

My point is that deep listening, with our hearts and eyes, is special because it is both so rare and transformative. And if we want to be people who bless, share life, change communities, and reveal Jesus’ love it will start with how we listen. It will start by putting aside our agendas, our phones, our distractions and saying to our kids, family, friends, and neighbors you matter to me with what’s going on in your life. Because that is the model of Jesus. We always have his attention, and it’s always undivided. So why not try giving that gift to someone today.

by Andrew Mills

Go to Timeout Daddy!

941103_10152862084975643_260761294_nWe have a three year old, which also means that we have a timeout spot. For us it’s the stairs. This has been helpful because pretty much every place we go has stairs.

Everybody’s different, but for us we use timeouts to help Hudson make right choices. Some people use timeout’s for punishment but we want it to be a corrective. So the general rule is he able to come off timeout whenever he is ready to say sorry, eat his supper, or do whatever it is he was supposed to in the first place. This is important to us because then Hudson still has some control, and if he makes the right choice right away he can get out of timeout quickly. There isn’t a set punishment time, instead he sits there as long as it takes to make the right choice. Because we want our kids to make the right choices. What is funny is that our kids also want us to make the right choices.

So the other day I’m in a bad mood. I’m grumpy. I’m complaining, and not being “happy”. So you know what Hudson does? He puts me in timeout.

He says, “Daddy no whining, you go to timeout. When you happy you come off and say sorry and we play. Okay!”

My little boy is no longer just learning the right choices, but expecting them from others. This is a really good thing, although I did have to spend sometime in timeout.

What I’m learning if I’m to be a good father is that it’s a lot about consistency. Consistently living what I’m asking. Consistently living up to my own expectations I set for my boys. In essence I need to model what I am trying to teach, and practice what I preach.

So maybe it’s a good moment today to simply take a second and ask yourself, “Do you need to go to timeout?” Is there something you expect of others that you aren’t doing? Are you making the right choices you ask other people to make?

Because trust me its so much better when we say we’re sorry, act the right way, and get back to playing…

by Andrew Mills

Disciplining with Devotional Books

541684_10152743540730643_546879791_nI have recently run into a new parenting problem. So for all you who have been parents longer here is my problem. Our little boy Hudson does not want to go to sleep recently. Instead, when I go upstairs to bed he is often still up, with a little light on in his room reading. And when I walk in he says, “Daddy go away, I reading, I be quiet, it’s okay”.
Now normally when he is reading we would just take the book away and be done with it. But here is the issue: he’s reading his devotions.
That’s right, my little boy is breaking his bed-time by reading about God. Can you tell he’s a pastor’s kid? I mean how do you discipline someone who is reading his devotions? He says, “Daddy I just reading my devotions for a little bit [which is actually like 1.5 hours]. Daddy it’s okay”
Do I like having a sleepy and cranky boy in the mornings? No. Do I want to discourage him from this amazing habit? No.
So here is what I’ve learned. That it is sometimes wise to see the bigger picture. Paul says, “Dad’s don’t aggravate your kids” in Ephesians. And Paul is right. It is so easy to aggravate our kids, to win a little battle but miss the bigger picture. I could make this into an issue, but I’d be losing out because I want my son to feel so connected to God that it permeates his entire little life and spills out all over the place. And I think this matters, because so often we see the little issue but not the bigger picture. We ground our kids, but miss the fact that in us yelling they feel unloved. We take away their toys when they do something bad, but can actually squash their independence and creativity. The point is to see the bigger picture before making decisions.
I am not someone who thinks we should just let our kids do anything for fear of “squelching their development”. Instead, I want to guide, raise, and train up my son in the best way possible. I want him to go to bed on time, and read his devotions. I don’t want to win with one issue and lose the other.
So when as parents we have these odd moments here’s what I do. I wait before I make a decision, try to see the bigger picture, and try to make the best decision that has the best results long-term.
So in my bed-time breaking devotion reading boy – what did we do? Simple we put him to bed earlier. That’s right earlier. If he wants to read his devotions in bed, awesome! So now we put him to bed earlier so he can read his devotions, and still make it to bed on time. This is a win-win. Paul’s right, don’t aggravate your kids, raise them. The difference is often subtle but it matters a lot.
by Andrew Mills