Personal Musings – Page 9 – { Andrew Mills }

Forgiving Mr. Poopy Pants

Just a heads up this post concerns poop. Just so you know and it’s out there ahead of time.

Here’s what happened. Krista was taking Hudson to nap, and I heard this conversation from the bathroom.

“Mommy you have to forgive me for pooping in my pants. We learned that at church this morning, when someone does something wrong, you have to forgive them. Okay mommy?”

Now besides the fact that I couldn’t stop laughing, and the poop problem, this was a beautiful moment. Because here is what it showed – that Hudson understood what he was taught.

So often we learn something but never apply it, never practice it, or never learn how to live it out. So after I stopped laughing (and grinning that Krista had to deal with this ‘accident’), I was so glad. I was glad because as a parent Hudson now gets forgiveness. This is not a minor thing, this is not a little thing, this is a major thing. The entire Christian faith is built on forgiveness so if Hudson gets a handle on it at 4, think about how that could shape his life?

Which leads me to my main point: thank you to anyone who pours into kids.

I am so grateful for each friend, mentor, Sunday school teacher, church family member, who supports and pours into my kids. Sometimes it’s through teaching in our Sunday School, or giving him cookies and talking to him on a Sunday morning. The point is that your investment in my kids’ lives, the others as well, is changing them. And it’s a beautiful thing. So thank you to everyone who cares for kids anywhere.

And on this Sunday I was so grateful for each person who cares and pours into our kids here at our church specifically. So for every time you’ve wondered if it’s worth it, every time it’s been chaos, every time it didn’t feel successful – know that sometimes, with God’s grace, it sticks and changes someone. And last Sunday it stuck with Hudson, as he reminded his mommy about the importance of forgiveness. And that is something we all need to be reminded of from time to time. So thank you.

March 26, 2014 by Andrew Mills

Daddy I want to See Jesus

Earlier last week as I was getting Hudson dressed we were having a conversation. And I told him that his mommy and me love him and Asher more than anyone else in the world. Hudson then said that he knows that and loves us too – and that “lots of people love him”. He then started counting off the people who love him, “Grandma, Nana, Papa, Cousin Caleb” and on and on. He also said that Jesus loves him. And I said, “yes of course Jesus loves you!”

And then he said something that is both profound and true, “But daddy I wish Jesus wasn’t invisible. I want to see Jesus”.

And I thought to myself how true. People need to not only hear about Jesus, but they need to see him. They need to see him through our actions, our words, and our deeds. My prayer is that as Hudson grows up, he will come to know Jesus through how I love him, how Jesus changes me, and through his own personal encounters with Jesus.

But the first step for so many people – before they encounter the Risen Christ themselves is to “see him”. And I think this is where we, as his followers, need to be intentional. Through our actions, our words, our deeds and our creative acts of love people can come into contact with Jesus through us. They can see him through us. This is both our privilege and our calling. We can be the hands and feet of Jesus. We can bring Jesus to people in tangible ways. We can not only represent him, but reflect him to the people around us.

And so I believe and pray that as I follow Jesus, that Hudson will grow up learning to not only see Jesus but encounter him himself. But I also know I have a huge role to play in this. I can be a hindrance or a help to his seeing and encountering Jesus.

So the question I’d like to leave you with is this: is your life helping people to “see” Jesus?

And maybe a better question: how can you live your life in such a way that people “see” Jesus more clearly through you?

Because Hudson is right – people want to see Jesus.

February 12, 2014 by Andrew Mills

Morning Prayer for Times of Transition and Change

This was my prayer this morning:

God there is much before me, and much unknown. But you are also before me, help me to find you, and find your way.

Today is my first day without my friend and co-pastor Dave here at the church. He’s been called up north to continue his really wonderful relational ministry there. That leaves a large hole, or many different holes here to fill.

So as I was praying this morning and looking forward I realized that there is a lot of unknowns before not only me but also the church right now. What if we don’t find the right person? What if I make mistakes as I lead? What if in the transition I unintentionally hurt someone or miss something? There are a lot of “what if’s” whenever things change.

But as I prayed I realized something – even though a lot is unknown, there are a lot of potential pitfalls, and mistakes will surely be made (we are all human after all). One thing is sure. God is also before us. God is also leading us. God is also with us.

So even amidst change, transition, and uncertainty – I don’t believe we need to be fearful. Instead I think our call is simply to remain faithful. Faithful to God, and faithful to one another.

Because I really believe one thing is certain ~ God is before us. And if we look for him we will find him, and find his way for us.

So whatever today you might be facing, whatever uncertainty wonderings, or difficult futures I think the point is the same for you. God is before you, search and find him, follow him and he will get you through. The way may not be clear now, but the calling is: finding God and following God.

So may you do that this morning, and maybe even pray my morning prayer with me:

God there is much before me, and much unknown. But you are also before me, help me to find you, and find your way.

Amen.

February 3, 2014 by Andrew Mills

Worship…It’ll eat you alive

I read a quote recently that really got me thinking. It’s from David Foster Wallace, the novelist and writer, and he said this:

In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship…The compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship…is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive.

And I think he’s really right especially the last line. That anything else you worship will eat you alive.

The biblical word for this is idolatry. That’s when you place things before God, or in God’s spot. And while we do this sometimes either out of naivety, rebellion, or from a mistake, it never ends up well.

Think about it. Greed is essentially the idolatry of money – and greed will eat you alive. Pride is the idolatry of the self – and pride will eat you alive and any relationship you’re in. Position and recognition is the idolatry of power – and it too will eat you alive if you worship it.

Because the truth is what you worship is what will own and direct you. And with every other single thing we worship other than God, leads us to a place of hurt, difficulty, and pain. Or in the Biblical language – destruction. Or in David Foster Wallace’s language you’ll be “eaten alive”. Chasing after money, pride, power, position, or anything other than God never brings health and freedom.

The trouble with worship and idolatry is that we often don’t realize what we worship until it’s too late. Until we’ve been “eaten alive” – a relationship fails, our identity cracks, or we hit rock bottom. The point is that I think David Foster Wallace is right – everybody worships. The question is what are you worshipping? Is it bringing you health, life, and freedom? Or is it slowly eating away at you? At your hope, meaning, and purpose?

January 29, 2014 by Andrew Mills

“Jesus Didn’t Ring the Doorbell”

Earlier this week at breakfast Hudson was sitting at our counter and we were talking. He looked so very sad and he said to me, “Daddy, Jesus didn’t come”. I asked him what he meant.

He said this, “Daddy, Jesus didn’t come and ring the doorbell. He didn’t come for his birthday. He missed his birthday.”

He had been thinking about this because his birthday is coming up, and he’s been talking about it all the time (he wants an Angry Birds, Cars, and Tree-Rex themed party). And I guess from all this thinking he was actually watching and waiting for Jesus to show up on Christmas day.

I sat down and talked to him about how Jesus was here over Christmas and how he is here with us now. I tried to explain to him how Jesus is a part of our lives. And he just kept coming back to – “But Daddy, I want him to ring the doorbell and come in”.

And to be honest I was a little stuck. How do you help a 3 year old become aware of God’s presence all around? How do you help him enter into the awe and wonder of encountering Jesus? How do you explain to them that Jesus is real, and present but probably won’t ring the doorbell for his birthday?

And if I’m honest with you – I don’t have a lot of great answers. I tried talking some things through but they all fell flat. I guess that’s the joy of parenting, you get to figure it out as you go, and I’m sure I’ll get another shot at explaining it.

So if you’ve maybe walked through with your kids, nieces, or grandchildren I’d love your thoughts. How do you help children experience and develop an awareness of the presence of God? I think that’s an important question to ask, think about, and try to figure out because I want Hudson to grow up knowing the full presence of God in all he does.

So I’m still working that out, and I have a lot of ways to grow as a parent. But one thing made me extremely happy even while I struggle to explain and try to help Hudson encounter Jesus. And it’s this: he was waiting and looking for Jesus and that’s a great start.

January 15, 2014 by Andrew Mills

“Daddy I’m Not Special Because You Love Me”

A few days ago I was talking with my three-year old. And sometimes I think three-year olds should be in charge because in their simplicity and understanding they are brilliant. But, of course, if they were in charge we’d probably have to watch more Dora than we’d want to but that’s a side point.

As I was talking with Hudson I told him he is so special and loved by mommy and daddy. And he got mad. Down right angry. And he told me, “No daddy I’m not special because you love me”. And I started to get a little frustrated that it kind of felt like he was rejecting a bit of my care and love for him. So I told him, “No you are special because daddy and mommy love you and will always love you no matter what.” And he said again “No daddy I’m not special beause you love me” And he started stomping his feet.

Just as I was feeling a little inwardly unsure about what to do, Hudson said this. “Daddy I’m special because God loves me, mommy told me that. God loves me, made me, so I’m special”.

See three year olds can be brilliant – right?

And Hudson is right. That is the foundation for why we are all special, unique, and valued. And I pray to God that he will never ever forget that foundation. I pray that he holds onto that truth for every day of his entire life. I pray that he will never seek to find his validation in love from anyone else, from anything else, or from any other substitute. I pray that he will know he is special, matters, and has value because God loves him.

If you think about how might our lives be different if we would have just held onto that truth?

How might decisions in high school have been different, if we knew with such conviction, like Hudson, that we matter because of God? How might our decisions in our marriage, in our jobs, and in our families be different if we were so secure in God’s love for us?

So on that day Hudson taught me something important. He is special because God loves him, and so am I, and so are you.

January 8, 2014 by Andrew Mills

“Daddy Snow It Must Be Christmas”

Hudson has no filter whatsoever. I doubt many three year olds do. I’d love to tell you some examples…but I think most of them are better left out of print…

The point though is that you have no doubt what he is thinking. And he has an ability to just change your perspective on so many things.

Earlier last week with the first kind of snowfall, as I was getting ready to shovel the snow, grumbling about the cold, and not loving the early morning – I was taking Hudson to daycare.

And as soon as he steps on the porch, he starts yelling and dancing instantly. “Daddy it’s here, it’s here, snow is here. Daddy, look ,snow, and that means it’s Christmas…Yeah!!!!” And he started running around, making tracks, jumping up and down and yelling “yeah it’s Christmas.” I saw quite a few families who were walking their kids to school, look at Hudson, smile, and laugh.

And it dawned on me that I was missing something. I was missing some of the joy, anticipation, and excitement about Christmas. I was missing out because I wasn’t entering in.

So of course we ran around in the snow, and I started rediscovering the joy of this season.

So my question for you is this: have you lost any of the joy and anticipation of the season?

Because Christmas is a great season, there is so much to celebrate, and there is joy to be found. Don’t let the familiarity with Christmas rob you of its wonder.

Because Hudson taught me, and I think any of my neighbors outside, that there is something coming worth getting excited about.

December 18, 2013 by Andrew Mills

“Daddy Watch Me! – I’m Going to Do Something Crazy!”

I love my little boys. They are a wonderful part of my life. Asher saunters / stumbles to me everytime I walk in the door. Hudson runs at me full tilt and jumps when I walk in the door. Often it’s a 50/50 chance whether Hudson will hit Asher while they both walk to me. Being a dad is a really beautiful thing.

But I have noticed something about Hudson, especially recently. He often says this to me, “Dad watch me!”

Dad watch me as I jump off this couch
Dad watch me I’m doing something crazy
Dad watch me and see me write my name
Dad watch me as I jump over Asher…

The point is that Hudson loves having my attention. In fact, if he could have my attention all the time – that’s exactly what he would want. And I think wanting our parent’s caring, loving, and attentive gaze is important and natural. Hudson wants me to be part of his world. He wants to experience his world with me. It’s not enough for him to jump over Asher unless I’m watching, laughing, cheering him on, and entering into it.

And I think we want the same thing often as well. We want people to experience life with us, to enter into our worlds and join us there. We like knowing we matter.

But here is the beautiful thing, we have this with God.

The Father’s attention is always turned to you, you never have to say to him “Watch me”, “Pay attention” “This is important”. Because to God everything you do is important, because you are important.

God wants to enter our world and experience it with us.

The question is are we letting him? The question is are we truly deeply aware of how much we matter to our heavenly father.

As a father I’d love to give Hudson and Asher all of my attention all the time. But sometimes I forget what a gift it is to have God’s attention all the time. We never turn to him and find him turned away but ready to enter our world, our conversation, our experiences with him.

So this week as you live, remember you are living with a caring Father right there with you. Because he loves you.

December 11, 2013 by Andrew Mills

The Anger of God and Our Indifference to Injustice

Often in the prophets we read of God’s anger and his wrath. I know a lot of people for whom the language of God’s wrath makes them uncomfortable. I know it often makes me uncomfortable sometimes. Sometimes we seek to explain it away, put it into context, or find more gracious interpretations for it. I think that’s all fine and good as far as it goes, but sometimes I think we need to sit with the language and read and understand the depth that God cares about some things.

God’s anger in the prophets is because of the injustice around Israel. God is standing up for the hurting, oppressed, and those seeking hope. I actually think our uncomfort with some of God’s strong language reveals our more passive feelings to injustice around us.

While studying the prophets recently I read this from Abraham Joshua Heschel. I found it brilliant, true…and very convicting. He says this:

The exploitation of the poor is to us a misdemeanor; to God, it is a disaster. Our reaction is disapproval; God’s reaction is something no language can convey. It is a sign of cruelty that God’s anger is aroused when the rights of the poor are violated, when widows and orphans are oppressed? (The Prophets, 65)

His point for us is that we do not take the exploitation of the poor nearly as seriously as God does. Our uncomfort with the strong language of God in the prophets may be an indication of our passive acceptance of the exploitation around us.

So for me what this means is this. Have I become indifferent to the suffering I see around me, and around the world? Am I active in seeking to stand up for those who are hurting, and having the same passion God does about injustice?

I think these are important questions to think about, and even more important questions to act on.

November 27, 2013 by Andrew Mills