Tag: Bible

We’re All Parents – Some of Us Just Have Kids

65294_10200932839150099_1427605294_nOn Sunday we are going to look at a major issue for all of us as Christians. We are looking at parenting.

You might actually want to push back a little bit. You might be asking, “Is it a major issue for all of us? What about those of us without kids? What about those of us with grown kids? What about those of us who never want kids?”

Well I hate to be the one to tell you…but if you are a follower of Jesus you are a parent.

That’s right. As followers of Jesus in a community we all matter in ensuring that the next generation launches well. You are a model and an example, even if you aren’t a biological parent.

Stanley Hauerwas writes it this way: Christians, single and married, are parents. “Parent” names an office of the Christian community that everyone in the  community is expected faithfully to fulfill.

And he is absolutely right. We all have a responsibility with the youth we, as a community, have been entrusted with. Kids matter. Youth matter. And you matter too in developing a caring community that launches them well. So yes parenting is a major issue for all Christians.

And come Sunday we are going to look at how to launch our kids well. I’m going to share with you three things that I think are really key. But before we get there what about you? What do you think is key in raising kids as a community? What did your parents do – that worked so wonderfully? What have you learned not to do from your parents?

Because the reality for good or bad, we have all been shaped by parenting. Whether that’s good parents, bad parents, or non-existent parents. The question we want to discover is then for those in our care and community how can we raise them well. How can we launch them well? What do you think?

by Andrew Mills

Power, Dominance, Submission, and Jesus-Style Love in a Marriage

929639_40861409On Sunday we explored the potentially difficult passage of Ephesians 5 where Paul writes, “Wives submit to your husbands…Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church”.

What we came away with was an understanding that no healthy relationship is based on power and dominance. We realized that we are all called to submit to each other out of reverence for Christ (Eph 5:21), and that the way Jesus related to others was through submission, humbleness, and sacrifice. The same things are too part of our marriages: submission, humbleness, and sacrifice.

We explored how Paul elevates woman, with the expectation that they are partners in marriage making a choice to be like Christ. Then Paul expects the same thing of husbands reminding them of their obligation to love like Jesus. This means buying flowers once in a while isn’t enough. This means husbands remembering the anniversary every other year isn’t enough. It is not until we have loved our wives with such a depth of self-sacrifice and giving, that all their flaws vanish because of the depth of our love that we haven’t done our job. Paul raises the bar pretty high actually.

We ended up landing on this truth that relationships based in power and dominance lead to division and difficulty. But relationships based in the type of love shown by Jesus Christ lead to life. Marriages based on self-sacrificial and submissive love last.

So we ended off asking ourselves a tough question. Are we sacrificing in our marriages, friendships, and relationships? Are we caring and putting the other person first? Is our love self-centred or sacrificial? Because I believe it’s when we love like Jesus that relationships last and give life.

We ended off by quoting Wendell Berry who I believe is worth quoting again. He writes this: “The proper question, perhaps, is not why we have so much divorce, but why we are so unforgiving. The answer, perhaps is that, though we still recognize the feeling of love, we have forgotten how to practice love when we don’t feel it”.

And I think that’s the challenge for all of us married or not. To learn to practice love when we don’t feel it. I think it’s a practice worth learning.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Marriage based on self-sacrificial love leads to life

Take Aways…

  • Our experience with marriage shapes our view on marriage
  • We have a romantic individualistic view of marriage
  • Jesus gives grace to a messy marriage life in John 4
  • Christ is his relationship with us took on a posture of submission and sacrifice not one of dominance and power
  • Striving for power and dominance in relationships wrecks relationships
  • Women in that day and age weren’t a partner but property
  • Paul elevates wives to a position of a partner with a choice to love like Jesus
  • Paul asks the same of husbands to love like Jesus
  • To be the head means source or origin
  • Marriage isn’t about perfection, but an opportunity of reflection – of loving like Jesus
  • Marriage is based on self-sacrificial and submissive love
  • “The proper question, perhaps, is not why we have so much divorce, but why we are so unforgiving. The answer, perhaps is that, though we still recognize the feeling of love, we have forgotten how to practice love when we don’t feel it” Wendell Berry

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What made you laugh? What did you take away? Was this take on this passage new? Where have you seen relationships based on power and dominance struggle? When have you seen relationships based on love and submission succeed? In your relationships are you loving with self-sacrificial love? Are you learning to practice love when you don’t feel it? What next steps can you take this week to pour love into your significant relationships’?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and talk with your kids what you think marriage is based on. Share with them what matters in it. Share with them why it matters. And then share with them some important things to practice and learn before they get married like loving when you don’t fee like it, forgiving if you don’t want to, and taking the first step even if its hard.

Challenge for this Week:

Love even if you don’t feel like it

 

by Andrew Mills

What is a Biblical View of Marriage?

All this month we are talking about developing deep roots in our families and friendships. Tomorrow we are hosting our first annual marriage seminar. Our desire is that healthy marriages would turn into healthy families and healthier communities.

Following the seminar, on Sunday I’m going to be sharing on marriage. This is potentially one of the most hotly contested topics because of the wide variety of experiences people have had with marriage. Some are for it, some against it, some want to find one, some want out of one, some are healthy and some are struggling. Through our family, friendships, and the world around us we all have ideas and opinions on marriage.

On Sunday though my hope isn’t to explore our opinions but instead to discover God’s plan for marriage. We are going to be tackling potentially the most misunderstood, and potentially damaging text in the Bible related to marriage. We are going to be exploring Ephesians 5 where Paul discusses marriage in relation to submission, sacrifice, and love.

The point we want to come away with for all of us in marriages, hoping to find a marriage, or even for those happy and single – what is the basis of a strong covenantal relationship? How do you have a healthy marriage? What is it based on?

So before we get there what do you think? What makes a marriage healthy? What makes one last? Which marriages make you think…I want that? What is it about some marriages that make you say, “they are missing the point?”

And while I give you my answer on Sunday…I’ll start with this. Healthy marriages are never based on power and dominance. They are based on something else entirely. And to discover what that “something” is we are going to explore Ephesians 5 in context and culture and realize that one decision can move your marriage from struggling to life giving.

Flyer

by Andrew Mills

My Favorite Verse in the Bible…

What is your favorite verse in the Bible?

Seriously?

Which verse do you turn to for support, encouragement, challenge, or direction?

If you had to choose one verse to be a verse that explains your life, what would it be?

Many people have different verses that resonate for them. Each is valid and important if God uses it to guide and shape you. Many of my youth, when I was a youth pastor, found great comfort in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord”. Other people have a verse from the Psalms. So what’s yours?

The reason I bring it up is because on Sunday I’m going to be preaching on my favorite verse in the Bible. This is my favorite verse – theme verse, life verse, whatever you want to call it. It comes up all the time in my mind, and I’m going to share it with you on Sunday. If you’ve been following our series you know that my favorite verse is found in Nehemiah of all places. So feel free to read through the whole book and try to find it, but if you don’t find it by Sunday, don’t worry, I’ll share with you how it directs my life and can direct and change yours too!

by Andrew Mills

Hearing Psalm 121

Over the summer we’ve been looking at different Psalms. To download the sermons in this series click here.

On Sunday we are going to be looking at Psalm 121. It is by far one of my favorite Psalms. In fact it became my favorite through an unlikely source…a hasidic Jewish reggae rapper named Matisyahu. Yes, I know an odd combination, but he sang about it and reminded me something about these Psalms. They are to be sung. They are to be heard. They are to be experienced. There is something powerful through speaking these promises aloud.

So before we even get to Sunday why not take a moment, relax and read out Psalm 121 aloud. See what you notice. Read it a few times. Let it settle into your soul. And then come Sunday we are going to not only read it, but also experience it through communion together. We are going to God and experience how our help only comes from the Lord. So to begin today – read it slowly, read it aloud, and let God speak to you through Psalm 121:

Psalm 121

A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.

1 I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!

3 He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.

5 The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
6 The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.

7 The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.

by Andrew Mills