Hudson – Page 2 – { Andrew Mills }

“Jesus Didn’t Ring the Doorbell”

Earlier this week at breakfast Hudson was sitting at our counter and we were talking. He looked so very sad and he said to me, “Daddy, Jesus didn’t come”. I asked him what he meant.

He said this, “Daddy, Jesus didn’t come and ring the doorbell. He didn’t come for his birthday. He missed his birthday.”

He had been thinking about this because his birthday is coming up, and he’s been talking about it all the time (he wants an Angry Birds, Cars, and Tree-Rex themed party). And I guess from all this thinking he was actually watching and waiting for Jesus to show up on Christmas day.

I sat down and talked to him about how Jesus was here over Christmas and how he is here with us now. I tried to explain to him how Jesus is a part of our lives. And he just kept coming back to – “But Daddy, I want him to ring the doorbell and come in”.

And to be honest I was a little stuck. How do you help a 3 year old become aware of God’s presence all around? How do you help him enter into the awe and wonder of encountering Jesus? How do you explain to them that Jesus is real, and present but probably won’t ring the doorbell for his birthday?

And if I’m honest with you – I don’t have a lot of great answers. I tried talking some things through but they all fell flat. I guess that’s the joy of parenting, you get to figure it out as you go, and I’m sure I’ll get another shot at explaining it.

So if you’ve maybe walked through with your kids, nieces, or grandchildren I’d love your thoughts. How do you help children experience and develop an awareness of the presence of God? I think that’s an important question to ask, think about, and try to figure out because I want Hudson to grow up knowing the full presence of God in all he does.

So I’m still working that out, and I have a lot of ways to grow as a parent. But one thing made me extremely happy even while I struggle to explain and try to help Hudson encounter Jesus. And it’s this: he was waiting and looking for Jesus and that’s a great start.

January 15, 2014 by Andrew Mills

“Daddy I’m Not Special Because You Love Me”

A few days ago I was talking with my three-year old. And sometimes I think three-year olds should be in charge because in their simplicity and understanding they are brilliant. But, of course, if they were in charge we’d probably have to watch more Dora than we’d want to but that’s a side point.

As I was talking with Hudson I told him he is so special and loved by mommy and daddy. And he got mad. Down right angry. And he told me, “No daddy I’m not special because you love me”. And I started to get a little frustrated that it kind of felt like he was rejecting a bit of my care and love for him. So I told him, “No you are special because daddy and mommy love you and will always love you no matter what.” And he said again “No daddy I’m not special beause you love me” And he started stomping his feet.

Just as I was feeling a little inwardly unsure about what to do, Hudson said this. “Daddy I’m special because God loves me, mommy told me that. God loves me, made me, so I’m special”.

See three year olds can be brilliant – right?

And Hudson is right. That is the foundation for why we are all special, unique, and valued. And I pray to God that he will never ever forget that foundation. I pray that he holds onto that truth for every day of his entire life. I pray that he will never seek to find his validation in love from anyone else, from anything else, or from any other substitute. I pray that he will know he is special, matters, and has value because God loves him.

If you think about how might our lives be different if we would have just held onto that truth?

How might decisions in high school have been different, if we knew with such conviction, like Hudson, that we matter because of God? How might our decisions in our marriage, in our jobs, and in our families be different if we were so secure in God’s love for us?

So on that day Hudson taught me something important. He is special because God loves him, and so am I, and so are you.

January 8, 2014 by Andrew Mills

“Daddy Snow It Must Be Christmas”

Hudson has no filter whatsoever. I doubt many three year olds do. I’d love to tell you some examples…but I think most of them are better left out of print…

The point though is that you have no doubt what he is thinking. And he has an ability to just change your perspective on so many things.

Earlier last week with the first kind of snowfall, as I was getting ready to shovel the snow, grumbling about the cold, and not loving the early morning – I was taking Hudson to daycare.

And as soon as he steps on the porch, he starts yelling and dancing instantly. “Daddy it’s here, it’s here, snow is here. Daddy, look ,snow, and that means it’s Christmas…Yeah!!!!” And he started running around, making tracks, jumping up and down and yelling “yeah it’s Christmas.” I saw quite a few families who were walking their kids to school, look at Hudson, smile, and laugh.

And it dawned on me that I was missing something. I was missing some of the joy, anticipation, and excitement about Christmas. I was missing out because I wasn’t entering in.

So of course we ran around in the snow, and I started rediscovering the joy of this season.

So my question for you is this: have you lost any of the joy and anticipation of the season?

Because Christmas is a great season, there is so much to celebrate, and there is joy to be found. Don’t let the familiarity with Christmas rob you of its wonder.

Because Hudson taught me, and I think any of my neighbors outside, that there is something coming worth getting excited about.

December 18, 2013 by Andrew Mills

“Daddy Watch Me! – I’m Going to Do Something Crazy!”

I love my little boys. They are a wonderful part of my life. Asher saunters / stumbles to me everytime I walk in the door. Hudson runs at me full tilt and jumps when I walk in the door. Often it’s a 50/50 chance whether Hudson will hit Asher while they both walk to me. Being a dad is a really beautiful thing.

But I have noticed something about Hudson, especially recently. He often says this to me, “Dad watch me!”

Dad watch me as I jump off this couch
Dad watch me I’m doing something crazy
Dad watch me and see me write my name
Dad watch me as I jump over Asher…

The point is that Hudson loves having my attention. In fact, if he could have my attention all the time – that’s exactly what he would want. And I think wanting our parent’s caring, loving, and attentive gaze is important and natural. Hudson wants me to be part of his world. He wants to experience his world with me. It’s not enough for him to jump over Asher unless I’m watching, laughing, cheering him on, and entering into it.

And I think we want the same thing often as well. We want people to experience life with us, to enter into our worlds and join us there. We like knowing we matter.

But here is the beautiful thing, we have this with God.

The Father’s attention is always turned to you, you never have to say to him “Watch me”, “Pay attention” “This is important”. Because to God everything you do is important, because you are important.

God wants to enter our world and experience it with us.

The question is are we letting him? The question is are we truly deeply aware of how much we matter to our heavenly father.

As a father I’d love to give Hudson and Asher all of my attention all the time. But sometimes I forget what a gift it is to have God’s attention all the time. We never turn to him and find him turned away but ready to enter our world, our conversation, our experiences with him.

So this week as you live, remember you are living with a caring Father right there with you. Because he loves you.

December 11, 2013 by Andrew Mills

Welcome Home Daddy

Coming home as a young dad is a great thing. This is a picture of how my boys welcome me. Hudson runs full tilt and jumps at me, and Asher giggles and walks till he gets to me and hugs me too. They both move as fast as they can, and shout “daddy” or in Asher’s case “da”.

It’s an amazing and a beautiful thing. I look forward to it everyday.

There is something about being welcomed isn’t there? Something that makes you feel special, known, and appreciated. It makes me feel such a part of their lives, and reminded that I’m a part of something special.

When I look at this picture and think about this type of welcome, I can’t help but think of God. Because God is the true Father, and I think he welcomes us in the same way. The Bible is clear, that just as my boys run to me, God runs to us. In the story of the Prodigal Son, a picture of God, the Father runs, throws his arms around his son, and welcomes him home.

This is who our God is, and what our God does. He is a God who welcomes. And I just think it’s good to be reminded of that. That when we walk into God’s presence his posture toward us is one of embrace, welcome, a full-tilt run towards us.

Sometimes I go into God’s presence quietly, meekly, and with uncertainty. But Hebrews says we can boldly walk into God’s presence with joy, with certainty, and with expectation. Because God is ready and waiting to welcome us.

So maybe take a look at this picture again, but this time think about God embracing and welcoming you. And the next time you’ve been away from God’s presence for too long, don’t hesitate to walk right back in. Because you know that God is ready and waiting to run to you and welcome you home.

October 30, 2013 by Andrew Mills

Pure Joy and Pure Wonder

This is a picture of Hudson. I think it just shows pure joy. I love this picture because it is who Hudson truly is. He is a boy with a lot of joy.

And to be honest Hudson shows his joy and thankfulness a lot. His prayers at supper and lunch tend to be long as he thanks God for everything he can think of. They are full of joy of what he has done in the day and hopes to do.

What amazes me is how much he has to thank God for, things I don’t even think of. He thanks God for all his cars (often by name…so it takes a while). He thanks God for our family, for Grandma and Nana and Papa (often also praying that he will go there on Tuesday), and for sunshine, for his backpack, for Skylanders, and for everything else.

I got to wondering if part of the reason Hudson is so joyful in this picture is because he is able to be so “present” to things?

Every experience for Hudson is like a brand new experience. He enters into with eyes-wide-open. We have been to the Splash Pad in that picture dozens of times, but he loves it like it’s new each and every time. There is a sense of wonder that permeates his life. There is a sense of joy that spills out.

I wonder when was the last time I felt like that?

When was the last time you looked like that picture?

I think this is something to strive for. I think this is something to seek, about being at a place of pure joy. So this week practice being thankful, practice entering into familiar places and relationships with wonder and awe. Practice being fully present. And if none of those things work. Why not try running through a splash pad…

“The insights of wonder must be constantly kept alive…I did not ask for success; I asked for wonder. And you gave it to me”. Abraham Joshua Heschel

August 7, 2013 by Andrew Mills

Disciplining with Devotional Books

I have recently run into a new parenting problem. So for all you who have been parents longer here is my problem. Our little boy Hudson does not want to go to sleep recently. Instead, when I go upstairs to bed he is often still up, with a little light on in his room reading. And when I walk in he says, “Daddy go away, I reading, I be quiet, it’s okay”.

Now normally when he is reading we would just take the book away and be done with it. But here is the issue: he’s reading his devotions.

That’s right, my little boy is breaking his bed-time by reading about God. Can you tell he’s a pastor’s kid? I mean how do you discipline someone who is reading his devotions? He says, “Daddy I just reading my devotions for a little bit [which is actually like 1.5 hours]. Daddy it’s okay”

Do I like having a sleepy and cranky boy in the mornings? No. Do I want to discourage him from this amazing habit? No.

So here is what I’ve learned. That it is sometimes wise to see the bigger picture. Paul says, “Dad’s don’t aggravate your kids” in Ephesians. And Paul is right. It is so easy to aggravate our kids, to win a little battle but miss the bigger picture. I could make this into an issue, but I’d be losing out because I want my son to feel so connected to God that it permeates his entire little life and spills out all over the place. And I think this matters, because so often we see the little issue but not the bigger picture. We ground our kids, but miss the fact that in us yelling they feel unloved. We take away their toys when they do something bad, but can actually squash their independence and creativity. The point is to see the bigger picture before making decisions.

I am not someone who thinks we should just let our kids do anything for fear of “squelching their development”. Instead, I want to guide, raise, and train up my son in the best way possible. I want him to go to bed on time, and read his devotions. I don’t want to win with one issue and lose the other.

So when as parents we have these odd moments here’s what I do. I wait before I make a decision, try to see the bigger picture, and try to make the best decision that has the best results long-term.

So in my bed-time breaking devotion reading boy – what did we do? Simple we put him to bed earlier. That’s right earlier. If he wants to read his devotions in bed, awesome! So now we put him to bed earlier so he can read his devotions, and still make it to bed on time. This is a win-win. Paul’s right, don’t aggravate your kids, raise them. The difference is often subtle but it matters a lot.

April 17, 2013 by Andrew Mills

Finding God in a Dark Bathroom

Hudson had to go pee last Sunday. So we ran quickly at church to the bathroom. The lights were off because we were closing up and leaving, so he said “Dad I scared”. I of course turned on the lights, but I thought while using a urinal would be a good time to have a little talk.

So I told him we don’t need to be scared with mom and dad around. Then I told him that even better than that, you always have God with you. He loves you, and is with you even if things are dark, so we don’t need to be scared.

I thought I had done a great job explaining things, but little did I know Hudson would do an even better job. He said to me, “Oh yes daddy, God, I know him. We have him at our house, I do devotions with him” and he ran out of the bathroom.

Nothing as a dad, or a pastor makes me happier than little moments like that. In case though you are picturing me and Hudson sitting down and reading the Bible together having deep prayer moments, that’s not what it’s often like. It’s often like what every interaction with busy boys is like: loud, sometimes difficult, and sometimes frustrating. Hudson is often jumping around, getting out of the covers, singing, making car noises, playing with a car he snuck into bed, and most often not looking at our devotional book. But we press through and do it every night in spite of the ups and downs.

And as Hudson ran out of that bathroom saying, “I know God, we do devotions” I realized something. That the very rhythm and action of trying to lead him into a deeper relationship with God is in fact leading him into a deeper relationship. The point isn’t perfection, it’s perseverance. We might not get it right every night, but the very act of trying is leaving an impact.

I tell you this, because I don’t know if you’re at all like me, but sometimes faith is tough. Sometimes following Jesus isn’t easy, and sometimes it’s a struggle. Sometimes our nighttime routines are beautiful and wonderful. Sometimes they seem like an utter disaster. Sometimes I wonder if me reading our devotions to a jumping boy making car noises is having an impact – if it even matters. But what I realized on Sunday was that sometimes just sticking it out is succeeding. Sometimes the very act of us not giving up leaves a bigger impact than we might imagine.

So even if tonight goes rough, I’m not going to quit doing devotions, praying, and following Jesus with my little boy because it’s making a difference. Because on Sunday after months of up and down devotions, I’m so proud to share with you that Hudson told me that he knows God, he’s at our house, and we all do devotions together.

April 4, 2013 by Andrew Mills

Number Your Minutes

Last week I had an early meeting 10 minutes from my house. So rather than drive 15 minutes to the office, to work for 30 minutes, and drive 20 minutes back to my meeting I decided to work from home for an hour.

I was working away and things were going good when my little man ran upstairs and asked, “Daddy can play me?” That’s how he asks if you can play with him. I said “sorry buddy daddy is working.” He said “oh…well maybe soon you play me.” And he scampered off.

Then 10 minutes before I had to leave, Hudson ran up again and he said, “Daddy its soon. You play me?” He looked at me with really hopeful eyes, and said again “Daddy play me”. And in that moment I had a choice for how to spend the next ten minutes of my day.

I could have spent 10 more minutes creating the PowerPoint presentation I was working on. I could have spent 10 more minutes answering emails or checking Facebook. Or I could spend 10 minutes and play with my son.

The thing I realized is that not every 10 minutes is the same, because spending some 10 minutes differently can leave a bigger impact. I could spend time on PowerPoint, emails, or other admin. but doing that wouldn’t change my day at all. But spending 10 minutes with my son would totally change his day. He would know that he is important. He would know that he is loved. He would know that while dad does work, and loves his job, he loves his family even more.

The time spent would be the same, but the impact would be different.

So I took 10 minutes and played trucks with my son and then left to work.

The point is simple: not every 10 minutes is the same. Some time spent leaves a greater impact, and a greater legacy. So my question for you is simple: how are you spending your time? Are you putting time into the places where it has the greatest impact? Are you focused on “just getting stuff done” or leaving an impact? Is all your time taken up with “stuff”, leaving no time left for relationships? Moses says to “number our days” Psalm 90:12, basically reminding us to spend our time wisely with purpose. Today I learned to “number my minutes” making sure each moment is spent well because in the end what will matter isn’t PowerPoint but the love I show to my son.

In case you’re wondering, yes of course I did get my PowerPoint done. I was able to spend an extra 10 minutes at work and respond to all my emails. But more importantly, I was able to spend 10 minutes with my son and remind him of something very important. That any 10 minutes spent with him is never wasted. While there is always lots of other things to get done, there won’t always be opportunities to play trucks with my son.

So today, get your work done for sure. That’s important. But don’t forget to put time into what matters most. The relationships around you and the people who would love for you to take ten minutes and hang out with them. Or as my son says, “want to play with me?

January 30, 2013 by Andrew Mills

Does Jesus Want to Play Trucks??

Hudson, on Christmas said something very profound, and no it wasn’t “presents!!”

What Hudson said that caught me off guard was this…“Daddy, Jesus come soon, and he play with me.” He then told me that he and Jesus will play trucks because Jesus likes trucks. Of course we had been talking about how Christmas is Jesus’ birthday so perhaps that’s what prompted his little saying, but I think it goes deeper than that.

Hudson is learning about Jesus slowly and surely and he’s showing it. Somehow he has already picked up the fact that Jesus is interested in our interests. That just like in any relationship, Jesus cares about what we care about. I can’t tell you how many romantic comedies I’ve sat through, not because I like them, but because I love my wife. When we care about someone we are concerned with what concerns him or her.

And Hudson has somehow already learned this lesson about Jesus. Jesus is interested in you and what matters to you. When Hudson says that Jesus will play trucks with him, he is saying that Jesus wants to be involved in the biggest and best part of his day. The Jesus Hudson knows is the one who wants to play trucks, who wants to be involved in his life at his level with his cares and concerns. As a pastor, a Christian, and most of all a dad I couldn’t be happier that my son knows this Jesus.

My question for you today is simple: do you know this Jesus too?

Do you know the one who is concerned with all your cares? Do you know the Jesus who is willing to get down to our level and enter into anything and everything we are doing? Who is willing to play trucks? To care about our business, relationships, art, hopes, dreams, and desires? Because this is the Jesus of the gospels, this is the Jesus worth finding, and this is the Jesus that is coming soon.

So Hudson tells me, “Daddy, Jesus come soon, and he play with me. He play trucks”. I, of course, responded with, “Yes you are so right. Jesus is coming soon, and he would love to play trucks with you…but for right now why doesn’t daddy”. And so as we played trucks I smiled…because my son knows the Jesus who is coming…

January 3, 2013 by Andrew Mills