Tag: Leadership

Where to Look for Leaders

Howtofindaleader

Culture, and an even bigger leadership market. What I mean by this is that many people will pay for courses, training, books (or whatever!) on how to develop and find leaders.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with any of this. I, too, go to the conferences and read the books. But, there is a current discussion in the leadership world about a leadership deficit.

What this means is that as the Baby Boomers age, there is a leadership vacuum and people needed to fill it. In essence, there is a leadership crunch. And, there are numerous opinions on where to find the right leaders and how to develop them.

I don’t want to offer my opinion on this, instead I’d like to reflect on a theme I see in the Bible: The best leaders are first servants.

I just believe this is true. We see this in Jesus’ teaching when He says that leaders aren’t called to lord it over others, but to serve (see Matthew 20:25-28). We see it in Peter’s teaching in 1 Peter 5:2-3 in his calling to serve one another. And, we see it in Matthew 23:11-12 in which Jesus says the greatest among you will be the servants.

I think the reason for this is obvious: Leadership positions don’t create character, serving does.

The best leaders are also people who understand serving and aren’t into leading for themselves, but rather leading for others.

So, I write all this because if you are business leader, a hockey coach, a pastor or leading anything at all, and you want to find more leaders, the place to look isn’t at leadership conferences. The place to find the best leaders isn’t from a group of people vying for the position.

The place to find the best leaders is wherever someone is faithfully serving. 

That’s the place to start, because these people will already understand that leading isn’t about themselves; it’s about others, and that’s what matters.

by Andrew Mills

Be a True Leader

beatrueleader.pngI really like learning and practicing good leadership as much as I can. And, it’s a very important topic that’s leveraged highly in seminars, training and such, especially if you’re in the business world.

But, what I’ve noticed is my own personal reaction to some leadership training and discussions. I’ve discovered that sometimes I react strongly against it and really dislike it. At other times, I’m really drawn to it and want to practice it. I seem to have two differing reactions to them: One is allergic, the other is excitement.

As I reflected on this, I realized that what causes me to either get excited or dismissive about a leadership talk is based on this one question: What’s the goal and the motive?

Sometimes in these talks, the point seems to be about creating and drawing a bigger crowd and more of an audience, or to find success and be recognized as a leader. And, when that seems to be the goal (or is subtly influencing the direction of a leader or talk), I really dislike it.

At other times, though, the talk seems to not be about drawing a bigger crowd, but rather focused on empowering, training and releasing more leaders. It’s about the impact any of us can have on those around us. It’s not about the size or reach of our influence, but rather about stewarding it well, so that lives are changed. And, it’s this style of leadership I deeply resonate with and respond to.

I write all this because, in our world today, there is a lot of talk about leadership. There are plenty of podcasts or blogs out there about how to grow in leadership and impact people. In the midst of all that, I want to remind us that the true goal of leadership isn’t to amass a bigger following, but rather to empower others. True leadership is other-centred, not self-centred.

So, grow in leadership, whether you are a business leader, stay-at-home mom or dad, teacher, landscaper, retired, etc. But, make sure the leadership you are growing in is always about others and not just about you.

 

by Andrew Mills

What You Need to Know About Great Leaders

leadershipblog.pngI read a lot of leadership books. I listen to a number of leadership podcasts a week. I send out a monthly leadership newsletter to our staff. So, I really appreciate and value the necessity of good leadership.
The problem is that the Bible talks about something so much more than “leadership.” The Bible talks about serving. For all of our culture’s focus on being a leader, the Bible seems to want to place the focus on serving and being a servant. And, this is a crucial distinction to make in our current culture and world.
To be a leader, you often talk about being in front, ahead and being an example, and – here is the main point – where people can see you. Because you want to show them the way, you want to inspire them and you hope to motivate them forward through your efforts.
But, true service has the same inspiring outcome, but through a different means. You are not out front getting recognition, but in the background doing what needs to be done. You aren’t trying to be an example, you are simply being faithful. The point isn’t for people to notice you, but for you to notice others.
It is very easy to fall into the leadership trap in our current culture. We think that what will save the church is leadership – that what we need is better and truer leaders. And, while I’m certainly not against leadership, I think we need to regain a focus on serving. It is so easy to assume that to be a leader means being a leader like we see in our culture, but, for Jesus, leadership doesn’t look like our culture, it looks like Him and serving.
Jesus says, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.” (Matthew 20:25-26, NLT) 
While I think being a leader matters immensely, what I know is this – that the best leaders were first, and primarily are, servants. And, the worst leaders are those who never serve, but command and direct.
So, I write all this, with books on leadership on my shelf, this article going out to you and a desire to lead well as a reminder: Leadership is never the main thing, service is. 
And, for all our culture’s preoccupation with leadership, I think it’s time to do something countercultural: Serve.
by Andrew Mills

Don’t Forget About Trust

you are a leader.pngYou might not feel like it, but I bet, in some area of your life, you are a leader. I bet there are some people with whom or places in which you have influence or impact. I know this is true in my life, and I want to make sure that my leadership is not only healthy and good, but also impactful.

Sometimes, when we think of leadership, we think of principles, strategies and management tips and tricks. But, what I think we should think of is this: trust and relationships. 

Stephen Covey writes this, “Trust impacts us 24/7, 365 days a year. It undergirds and affects the quality of every relationship, every communication, every work project, every business venture, every effort in which we are engaged. It changes the quality of every present moment, and alters the trajectory and outcome of every future moment of our lives – both personally and professionally.”

Trust does alter all of that and trust does matter.

So, today, I write all this to remind you of something that is easy to forget: you are a leader and good leaders focus in on trust. Whether you are trying to lead a three-year-old, a project at school or a team or company, I think it’s easy to focus in on the task (getting the three-year-old to eat, getting an “A” in school or getting better exposure in business) and forget about trust.

But, again, good leaders focus in on trust. So, today, do something that builds trust for those with whom you have influence. Don’t just focus on getting something done; focus on being present for someone. Because great leaders not only lead, they also know that trust undergirds everything.

by Andrew Mills

Take the bite out of fear…

scooby-toy-1516278-640x480Here is the truth: fear drives us more than we’d like to admit.

For so many of us, myself included, fear can tempt us to make safe but not the best choices. Fear can tempt us into limiting what we reach for, or to not take the step we feel compelled to take. Fear seems to dampen our lives, to where we live with less expectations and simply seek to make it through. I believe that in general, fear always makes us live less than we are called to live.

But I believe too that the real power of fear is in how it lives unexamined. We let it whisper but don’t really let it speak. We let it tempt but not really acknowledge what it says. And I’ve found that through examining exactly what fear is sharing is one of the most helpful ways in overcoming it.

So what I do when I hear fear whisper, is I address it through asking…”what’s the worst”?

Because fear whispers to us that the worst will happen, but is never explicit about what the “worst” actually is. And that’s the power of fear, the unexamined and unnamed ominous “worst” out there. But once you name it, it loses its power.

So for example Krista and I are making a large change in our lives. And making this decision wasn’t easy because our lives are wonderful – but we felt called to something new and different. But here is what fear would whisper to me when we were praying about taking on a new job, new role, and new place of work:

  • What if you fail?
  • What if you can’t hack it?
  • What if you move, give up everything that is amazing here, and lose it all?

But honestly if you look at that what’s the worst? I fail, face some shame, have to start over, and if we lose everything and have to move in with my mom. I mean the literal worst is that we tried something and failed.

And this is how you beat fear.

You let fear tell you what’s the worst that can happen, but then never give it the last word. You think about the best, you think about what could come out of it, and you take the bite out of fear because normally the worst isn’t all that bad.

Fear wants to make it seem worse than it is, so you settle. But what if you don’t settle? What if you launch out and try that business, try that dream, try that thing you’ve been thinking about? Because settling never leads to your best, and fear is all about settling.

So push past it and see what happens.

by Andrew Mills

Getting ready for God’s Future

819V0oTxp0LSo here is something basically most of you know: I read a lot…like a lot.

I mean as in whenever we travel Krista and I have fights over the amount of books I’m bringing and the space they take up (at minimum is 1.5 books per day). Did I say I read a lot?  Krista would say this is because I’m a nerd…I say it’s because I like learning. Both are true.

But what I’m reading right now is a great book called “Your First 90 Days”. I’m reading to prepare for a change in our lives. I’m trying to ensure that I’m prepared for the future that is coming as best I can. So for me this means reading…well at least more than 5 books.

But I bring this all up for a specific reason. While out for dinner the other night I tell Krista all about this book and how great it is and she said, “I like it that you’re preparing for our future”. And that comment just really stuck out to me. Because I would say generally I’m not preparing for the future I’m reacting to it. And maybe you can agree. 

So my thought and reason for bringing this all up is to ask you one simple question, “What would it look like to prepare for the future God has for you?” What would that look like for you? Are there dreams you have? Are there hopes and things you believe that God has in store for you? And then my question is this – how are you preparing for them?

Because I believe that God has goodness in store for all of us. I believe, like Ephesians says, that God can do infinitely more than you could ever hope or imagine. And if that is true how are you readying yourself to receive it?

Maybe it’s digging into the Bible more. Maybe it’s really learning to pray. Maybe it’s learning to trust in small little things, so you can trust in big moves. Maybe it’s learning a new skill. Maybe it’s taking a new class. Maybe you dream of launching a business, so you are asking some people to mentor. My point is that I believe goodness is before us, and we all need to prepare to receive it. For me, of course, that’s reading…but what might it look like for you?

Because I have a little hunch, after Krista’s comment, is that I may have missed some of what God has had for me in the future because I wasn’t readying myself for it. All I know is that I don’t want to make that mistake again. And my guess is you don’t want to either. So what can you do, start, or commit to – to begin to get ready for the future God has for you?

by Andrew Mills

Margins and The Art of Saying No

say-no-1310251-1279x772I’m not great at leadership, but I would say that my leadership is growing. And one of the things that has helped me to grow the most are two concepts: margin, and saying no. And both of these are intertwined.

The truth is that many of us live without margin. And this lack of margin can appear in our finances, in our work time, in our family life time, and relationships. So often we are just so busy and so full we live at full-speed all the time without breaks, Sabbath, or rest.

The true thing at least for me is this: my best decisions don’t happen in stress, and busyness can overwhelm importance.

What I mean by this is sometimes we have so little margin that we just need to get things done, that then we don’t have time or space for the non-urgent but really important things of our lives. I also know stress doesn’t bring out my best, and decisions made in a hurry or without space are never going to be my best decisions.

So what I’m been learning is the importance of keeping margin in my life and in my week. Here are some the practical things I do:

  • I try to plan my week only 80% full. This practice has been incredibly helpful. First, it allows me to have space to say yes to the things that may spontaneously happen, or crisis that need to be mananged withtout pushing me “into stress”. Secondly, if the week doesn’t fill up I have 20% of my time to now dedicate to non-urgent but important tasks (like leadership, visioning, or strategic planning). It allows me to move past the day to day to larger items.
  • I have one weekend a month off. What this means for me is that each month I have one weekend where we don’t go out, don’t plan anything, and it’s free. As an introvert I need this. Our lives can become so jammed packed with all sorts of things, that I don’t have the downtime I need. By planning out and booking out one weekend a month where we don’t have any engagements it gives me breathing space.
  • I limit my nights out. What I realized early on in my life ministry is that if I got busy, I just added another night out. And soon that became a habit where I was out more than I was at home. The trouble is that messes up not only my work/life balance, makes my family a lack of priority, but then became expected by those I met with. Almost every issue then became urgent that could be met within a couple of days. In the end the lack of margin wasn’t helpful.

But those are just a few examples, but I mention this because my bet is you need this too. My bet is that you function best with some margin, some breathing room, some space in your life. The trouble is that if we aren’t intentional it doesn’t happen. Events, work, and other pressures will crowd out our space and in the end we aren’t living, just surviving.

So here comes the second thing: learning to say no. I say yes (even now) probably to too many things. To nice things, to good things, but to non-necessary things. And you can define “non-necessary” however you want but my guess is you might know what I’m talking about. Saying yes to that event, that outing, that pressure that isn’t really helping.

What I’ve learned is that to keep margin, to keep healthy, to keep leading well – I need to say no to more things than I say yes to. I need to make sure that I’m saying yes to the best and no, to the good, because rarely do semi-good leaders say yes to the bad. But our schedules and our lives get filled with okay, good, or not bad things that crowd out our space to do the best things.

So all of this is to say one thing: my bet is your life would be better with more margin, and that starts by maybe saying no to some things.

So why not take some time and think that through. How can you structure some space or margin in your life (i.e. plan a week 80% full, or a weekend off, or night off once a week etc)? What do you know you should say no to that you haven’t? How can you free yourself to give yourself to the best things around you?

I think part of the goal of leadership is also to last, and to not burn out. So these are two practices that are helping with that: margin and saying no.

by Andrew Mills

The Value of Hustle and Asking

coffee-1475384-639x852Here is something I’ve learned over the past few years: it matters to ask for mentoring.

I’m young, and in many ways I have so so much to learn. But I’ve learned the value of having mentors in my life informally. The first two mentors I’ve had were people who chose to invest in me before I thought I was worth investing in. One was my dad who mentored me over years, the second was a man named Shawn Good who actually asked if he could mentor me. He took the initiative and really showed me the value of having someone pour and invest into you. Both through his mentoring and through my dad’s, my leadership grew leaps and bounds.

But through a series of events both of those mentoring relationships stopped (my dad passed away, and Shawn moved across the country and I changed churches at the same time).

It was at that point that I realized something: I need mentors. I need people to invest in me, and not just for me but those around me. If I am going to give back something to this world, to the church I love, to the people I love, I need to be doing my best. And the truth is my best comes out when I’m listening and engaging with others wiser and more experienced than I am.

So I did something that felt unusual to me. I contacted one of the best pastors in our denomination and asked him to mentor and invest in me. I asked if I could have lunch and just learn from him. And he accepted and out of that relationship grew an opportunity I never could have guessed.

And I have been doing the same thing since: selectively reaching out to leaders I respect and asking for some coaching. 

And through this I’ve made some great relationships. I thought what’s the worst – they can say no. But not one has said no, they’ve all given back, helped me grow, and given things to think about and put into practice.

So I say all this for one simple reason: we all know others investing in us helps us tremendously. But here is where we struggle: we don’t ask. We hope that someone will recognize us, will choose to invest in us, will see the potential and take the initiative. And sometimes that happens like with Shawn and my Dad, but sometimes it doesn’t. What I’ve also learned from the mentoring end of things, I love investing in people who take the initiative to ask, to learn, to grow, and to practice.

So here is my challenge for you this week. If you want to grow in whatever area you live, work, and breathe – who are the people you really respect? Who are the people you might have a connection with? Who are the people that you would love to spend even sometime with to learn?

And now here’s the challenge: why not ask them? Why not take some initiative and add some hustle, some discernment over who to approach and genuinely ask. Get rid of arrogance, and humbly ask. What’s the worst?

Because here is what I know about good leaders – they want to invest in other leaders. And the leaders I look to invest in are the ones who are hungry to learn, seeking to change lives with some extra investment and wisdom, and not scared to try.

So all I’m saying today is that chances are there are people in your company, in your sector, in your world that you might have a semi-relationship with. Ask if you can take them out to lunch to learn. Who knows it might start something that turns out to be the best future you could imagine.

by Andrew Mills

A Manifesto of Habits

notepad-1192373-1279x1680I came across this Habits Manifesto in a book I was reading, and really thought not only was it simple but profound.

The truth is sometimes the most profound things are the simplest.

And here Gretchen Rubin outlines her habits and manifesto for how to live a life of impact, meaning, and with the right priorities.

Take a moment and really read through each of these points, and think to yourself,what would you add? What would you take away? And more importantly, how should you act in light of this?

What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while.

Make it easy to do right and hard to do wrong.

Focus on actions, not outcomes.

By giving something up, we may gain.

Things often get harder before they get easier.

When we give more to ourselves, we can ask more from ourselves.

We’re not very different from other people, but those differences are very important.

It’s easier to change our surroundings than ourselves.

When we can’t make people change, but when we change, others may change.

We should make sure the things we do to feel better don’t make us feel worse.

We manage what we monitor.

Once we’re ready to begin, begin now.

Here is just one shift I’d make. The first says this, “What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while”. Or I’d just put it this way, “Being consistent is better than being occasionally exceptional”.
What do you think?

by Andrew Mills

Bad Questions Stop Good Movement

city-life-5-1446453-1599x2404We have a negativity bias in our brains. This simply means we are more wired to review, and remember negative outcomes. We all know this is true, just do a presentation and have 3 people say it was great, and one person trash it and you obsess over the one person.

But what can sometimes happen is that because of this, we are more likely to create an obstacle to movement rather than capitalizing on movement.

I’ll give you an example.

Let’s say you have a new idea, a new proposal, or some great new shift in your industry. This is a good thing, and a needed thing and you bring it to your supervisor, your spouse, or whomever else. You sense some reluctance; you sense some hesitation, you sense things aren’t going well. Then you say the psychologically worst possible thing:  “Well why don’t you think this will work?”

And here is why this is a bad question. It primes people for negative responses. It actually causes people to think of more reasons than they currently have for what is wrong with your idea. It actually starts to gain speed in their brain, and weight for all the reasons your idea is a bad idea, and solidify it before it’s even had a chance to be processed. And once people have staked out an opinion or position it is really hard to shift.

Maybe you’ve seen this happen.

Maybe this has happened to you in a meeting.

Maybe you’re guessing now why your last pitch floundered.

So what’s a better question or way to go?

  • What if this works how would that change things?
  • What are some good reasons this is something to try to figure out?
  • How might this change things positively if it worked?

Push the positive, and let their brains do the rest. It might just help you create some new movement and new initiatives!

by Andrew Mills