I have always believed that the Bible matters and is relevant to all ages. I just didn’t realize how true that was, even for little kids, until the other day when I was driving Asher to school.
As we were driving, Asher said, “Dad, you can have enemies, right? If someone hits you a lot, they are your enemy.”
He then preceded to tell me who his enemy was and what he thought about them. And, he outright asked if it was okay to have enemies. Because, in our technical language, it seems that Asher has a “frenemy.”
Sometimes I wish adults were this honest and open.
So, I told him about Jesus, and how we follow what Jesus asks of us. I told him how Jesus doesn’t deny that there are enemies in this world (people who hurt us, maybe even hit us, or people who aren’t good), but that Jesus says we are called to love our enemies.
I said to Asher, “If you have an enemy, we need to love them too. It’s okay to choose not to play with them. It’s okay to tell the adult in charge if you are being hit. But, we don’t want to hate anyone.”
I write this all because I think Asher’s question is a good one: Is it okay to have an enemy?
Yes, the Bible lives in the reality where there are hurtful, abusive and difficult people in our lives – people that we might call an “enemy.” What the Bible challenges isn’t the existence of evil, but rather our response to it. We are called to love our enemies, and we are called to love them because our God in heaven loves them. And, how we do that is complex, and my point isn’t to wade into all of that today.
Yes, with abusive people, boundaries matter.
Yes, with toxic people, you don’t have to become a doormat.
Yes, with evil, pursuing justice matters.
But, when it comes down to the base level, what I told Asher was, “We can’t let hate into our hearts.” We need to love people, even the ones who are difficult.
So, how might you do that with the difficult people around you?
That’s a question that’s worth thinking about, because after I dropped Asher off that’s what I thought about. My little guy reminded me of Jesus’ calling on our lives to love our enemy. And, it’s a reminder that I needed. And, maybe you need this as well.
“People take time. But in our haste, we size them up or cut them down to what we take to be a more manageable size, labeling people instead of trying to hear, understand or welcome them.”
You might not feel like it, but I bet, in some area of your life, you are a leader. I bet there are some people with whom or places in which you have influence or impact. I know this is true in my life, and I want to make sure that my leadership is not only healthy and good, but also impactful.
So Asher broke my phone. Like he dropped it / threw it and cracked the screen…with a case on. I’d have a picture to show you but again – Asher broke my phone.
On Sunday we opened up a brand new series exploring the different aspects of who we really are. We looked at the ways in which God has designed our church, and some of our “DNA”. I believe that God creates not only unique people, but unique churches with something unique to offer.
On Sunday we opened up the book of Proverbs to learn about friendships. Friendships are these things that are all around us, that I think we end up taking for granted so often. But this is something that not only do we need to change, that Solomon would argue we must change to have a full life.
On Sunday we are looking at a really important topic but one that’s sidelined in our world: friendship.
I listen to a lot of music. And by a lot I mean I drive my wife nuts with it. But there is one tendency in music that really drives me nuts. It’s the tendency for love songs to all focus on the initial connection, the passion, but in general, not the commitment on the long-term. It seems like most love songs focus on the meeting stage, or the new love stage – not the lifelong committed stage.
{ Andrew Mills } 