On Sunday we are moving past my love of indie-rock bands that as my wife would say, “no one knows or loves but you”. To a mainstream giant band. We are going to be looking and listening to a song called “Grace” by this band you may have heard of…U2.
But before we get there, and you all send me the U2 song you wish I was using, I want to share with you one line from that song.
Bono sings this, “Grace makes beauty out of ugly things”
And I just think that’s both so true and also beautiful. That is what grace does. And come Sunday we are going to be talking about grace, how to show grace, and how to live grace. But before we get there I think it’s important to reflect on the power of grace.
So if you can – take a moment and think about this – what ugly thing in your life has grace made beautiful? Because before I can convince you to share grace, we need to become convinced of the power of grace.
A few Sundays ago we changed up our schedule. I strongly believe that God’s Holy Spirit can prepare and prompt you well ahead of time. By that I mean that planning and preparation are pretty important to me, and I believe God uses those.
But I also believe in listening to the Spirit in the moment as well.
So I have this little rule – plan for everything you can – and listen and change as you God’s Spirit leads in the moment.
So that’s what we ended up doing a few weeks ago. I had a great sermon planned, but in light of some significant health challenges our church was facing it didn’t feel it was the right one. Instead, the church leadership felt we should share on why difficulty happens and why it’s happening right now in our church.
So here is the audio of what I shared. I don’t have teaching notes like normal, or blog posts pre-prepped but I think that’s okay. Because when God’s spirit is moving, the only option you have is to follow it. Hope the audio is helpful.
A few weeks ago we had an amazing guest speaker – John Cressman – share his heart about journeying with others. John is a member of our church, pastor, and amazing leader. So if you didn’t get the chance to hear his sermon about being “stretcher bearers” its well worth the time to check it out here!
If you listen to truly gifted leaders you will almost always hear some paradoxical: they will talk about their failures.
They will talk about the tough times, and what they learned deeply. The leaders we most respect and follow when they talk about leadership are more likely to point to their failures than their successes.
And of course there are the arrogant leaders, who talk about how they are God’s amazing gift to the world.
But the truly gifted leaders I respect, have a humility, that comes from failure.
I say that this is paradoxical because we think of the best leaders as the ones who don’t fail, who press forward, and chart their own path. But I think this is the myth of leadership that we create in our minds. True leaders have failed, and more importantly, have learned from their failure.
The beauty of this is that if you have failed it doesn’t exclude you from being a leader. The question then is what can you learn from your failings and falternigs? What has failing, hurting, or going through that tough time given you to offer the world? Because some of our most profound offerings to the world don’t come out of our success but our struggles.
So if you are leading, struggling, and maybe even failing – be encouraged because you might just be on the path to better leadership as long as you keep learning, and keep pressing forward.
I want to quote something from Robert Farrar Capon, a brilliant writer. He writes this:
Jesus didn’t shy away from sinners, so why should the church? And don’t tell me the church welcomes sinners. I know better. It welcomes only sinners who repent and then never seriously need forgiveness again.
And unfortunately I think that may be true. And you might even be able to confirm that, to share stories of how the church let you down, or let someone you know down.
But today I don’t want to use this quote to jump all over the church, and its failings. Because I think that misses the point. It’s so easy to read that quote and say, “yeah the church is screwed up.” To get all high and mighty and condemn those people in the church who don’t get grace, and forgiveness.
But here is the truth: the church is people. And if you follow Jesus you are part of that people, for better or worse.
And this quote loses its convicting and compelling power if it becomes about “other people”. If we are part of the church, we should use this quote to examine our own lives. We should stop, and reflect and ask the Holy Spirit, “Is there anything I need to change in my life”.
Because what I think the Holy Spirit is asking me through this quote is to really examine my life.
Do I truly welcome people where they are at, no agenda, with love?
Am I truly okay with broken people, or do I expect them to get “fixed”?
Am I in anyway being an obstacle to the Holy Spirit working in my community because I’m not really ready to welcome sinners?
Because this quote isn’t about “other people rejecting sinners”. This quote is about each of us asking ourselves, “am I living like Jesus with welcome and hospitality?” And that’s a lot harder question, a lot more personal question, and a much more worthwhile one.
On Sunday we looked a song by one of my favourite bands called “The National”. And the song we explored was called “Sorrow”.
The reason we looked at this song was because this was the song that I played on repeat again and again when my dad passed away. It was a song that for me got tied to that dark and difficult time. The singer sings, “I don’t want to get over you” and that was so very true in my life.
He also sings, “Sorrow waited, and sorrow won”. And that was also true in my life; sorrow seemed to be winning.
And that’s really what we wanted to explore on Sunday, how do you move past sorrow? How do you overcome sorrow that grips you? How do you move forward?
And the answer is found in something called the lament.
The lament is really a type of prayer. A brutally honest, bring up the raw stuff within, kind of a prayer. Lament, if it’s about anything, is about honesty. But rather than discuss what it is, we looked at an example of lament in Psalm 39.
Psalm 39 is where David wrestles with maintaining silence before God, and expressing his hurt, anger, and accusation at God. David begins with maintaining silence, in fear that he might sin in what he says (v 1). But this doesn’t last for long because silence can’t last forever. And instead, out comes a torrent of expectations, longings, and hurt.
Listen to some of the raw stuff he says,
Rescue me from my rebellion. Do not let fools mock me. I am silent before you; I won’t say a word, for my punishment is from you. But please stop striking me! I am exhausted by the blows from your hand. (v. 7-9)
Or
Leave me alone so I can smile again before I am gone and exist no more.
These are some brutally honest lines. David accuses God of punishing him, ignoring him, or not rescuing him when he should. And he ends with this line, that if God doesn’t help, at least leave him alone so that he can smile again. Being left alone by God is better than being rejected and punished by God. Or so David thinks.
Now do I believe that God is the one punishing David, or that God “strikes people”? No. But that’s not the point. The point is that David brings all that he feels, right or wrong, and brings it openly and brutally honestly before God. David’s reaction isn’t to avoid God, but to bring his accusation towards God. And this in itself is an act of faith, and hope. That even in bringing his desperation, hurt, and anger that God might hear and act.
This is lament. Being brutally honest with yourself and with God about what you feel and where you are at.
And this is what we need to learn. We do not lament. We hide, we paper over pain, we bury pain. We do not address pain and loss. But the truth is that if we want to learn to ever heal or move forward in sorrow, we need to learn to lament. We need to learn to be brutally honest with God and ourselves. And this is something that not only does the Bible authorize, but suggests. One third of the Psalms are complaints, laments, or Psalms of disorientation. Their very existence says that we can come to God with all that’s within us.
So we ended with the main point on Sunday, that we need to learn to lament. And for some of us this might take some really practical points. We might need to journal and let the hurt out. We might need to let a song speak for us (like “Sorrow” which is a modern day lament). We might need to lament with others either in a structured group, or with close friends. Or the best way is maybe to just read the Psalms and let them express our feelings to God.
The point is that if sorrow, grief, or difficulty ever grip and grab you, the way out isn’t to pretend it’s not there. The way out begins with one step. It begins with lament. And life and healing might be a long way off, but lament is the step that begins a journey. And it’s one we need to be okay to take.
Sermon Notes:
Big Idea: We need to learn to lament.
Teaching Points:
You are never ready for grief.
“I don’t want to get over you” – The National
Lament, if it is about anything, is about honesty.
David brings what he feels, not just what he knows, to God.
Within lament, even when you accuse God, You are still hoping in God.
To the extent we have not learned to lament, we deal superficially with the world’s brokenness, offering quick and easy fixes that do not require our conversion. Chris Rice, Emmanuel Katongole
We need to learn to lament.
Learning to lament has helped me find healing.
Lamenting can be journaling, sharing with others, having a song express your heart, or reading Psalms to lament.
We all take each other too much for granted. The routines of life distract us; our own pursuits make us oblivious; our anxieties and sorrows, unmindful. The beauties of the familiar go unremarked. We do not treasure each other enough. Nicholas Wolterstorff
I have been . . . grievously wounded. So I shall look at the world through tears. Perhaps I shall see things that dry-eyed I could not see. Nicholas Wolterstorff
Adult Discussion Questions:
What stuck out to you from the sermon? What was challenging to you? How did God speak to you through it? What was new? Was it awkward for you to talk about grief and sorrow? Have you ever experienced sorrow? What was it like for you? Have you ever “lamented”? What might lament look like in your life?
Discussion Questions for Young Families
Today let your kids teach you. Ask them what they do when they are hurt, and angry, and in sorrow. Kids are much more open and we can learn from them.
Challenge for the Week: Learn and practice the art of lament.
Hi Everyone – here is the audio in case you missed it from our Family Pastor Andrew Epp preaching. He always does an excellent job, and shared with us a bit of his love of rap in this sermon! Be sure to check it out if you didn’t get to hear it!
On Sunday we are going to be looking at a favourite band of mine called, “The National”. It’s a band that I’ve loved for years, and we are going to look about what they say about lament, grief, and sorrow.
Because here is the truth: sometimes only music can express the depth of the soul.
What I mean by that is sometimes we experience and go through things that we can’t quite put words to. But music has a way of expressing maybe some depth of the hurt, joy, questioning, grief, or whatever we are feeling in a way that just words lack.
Music can be the way we express what’s going on inside. And that’s what we are really going to look at on Sunday. How certain songs express what we are feeling.
But what about for you? Are there any songs that have, at a certain point in your life, really expressed what you are feeling? Are there any songs that for you have better expressed where you are at – than you could yourself?
Think about that for a moment, and come Sunday with “the National”, I’ll share a song that does that for me.
On Sunday we are moving past my love of indie-rock bands that as my wife would say, “no one knows or loves but you”. To a mainstream giant band. We are going to be looking and listening to a song called “Grace” by this band you may have heard of…U2.
{ Andrew Mills } 