Category: Sermon Reflections

My Failures as a Father

733823_10152715963490643_1800426956_nOn Sunday for Father’s Day we looked at my failures as a Father. We looked at three major ones I’ve had in: attention, ownership of reactions, and affirmation.

The first failure was how I noticed Hudson had to get my attention often when I was at home. I was at home, but not “at home” really. But this isn’t the example of God. We never have to grab God’s attention, convince him to look our way, or ask for his time. We always have it, and isn’t that a wonderful feeling? Knowing that when you turn to him he is already fully there invested and listening? What if we took that practice into our relationships? That’s one failure, and one example of a place where I think we can all grow and change our relationships.

The second was with ownership of reactions. Whenever my boys do something wrong and I get that feeling of anger, punishment, or judgement welling up within me. I know that I have work to do inwardly. My boys can’t make me yell, can’t make me mad, can’t make me act ungraciously or without gentleness. I need to own those initial gut reactions. Or put another way, anything that comes out of me, is because of me. That’s how Jesus puts it in Matthew 7 that trees bear fruit from what’s within. That means my boys, your boss, your spouse can’t make you act meanly. That’s our personal responsibility to own. So what I realized is that before I can ever help guide my boys in the right direction, I need to ask Jesus’ advice, focus on my own stuff, get it right and then help my boys. Jesus uses the example of getting rid of the plank in our eye before trying to get out anyone else’s speck. What he’s saying is own and deal with your stuff, your junk, your less-than-Jesus-like reactions, then deal with others. So I learned I need to start with me before I can be really in the right space to help my boys.

The last failure I’ve learned from is lacking affirmation in my boys. It’s not that I don’t affirm the great things in my boys, I do, but not enough. As I read the gospels and the New Testament, Paul, Jesus, and other writers are consistently and constantly affirming who we are in Christ. They say we’re new creations, holy, pure, loved, chosen, desired, adopted, and fully connected to Christ. They are constantly reminding us who we are. And I need to do that with my boys. I need to constantly be reminding them of who they are, so that they know how to live. I need to tell them that they are good, loved, smart, fun, and beautiful so that they will begin to believe it about themselves, and live up to it. In essence, I need to affirm in them who they already are, and who they are becoming.

We ended with simply recognizing how powerful, if we just learned from these three failures, how our lives could impact others. What if in our significant relationships we show deep attention? What if we always deal with our stuff before ever helping others with their stuff? What if people realized that we are always affirming who they are and who they are becoming? How might those actions change your marriage, your children, your family, friends, and neighbors? I think it would change them a lot. If when people looked at you they see someone who gives full attention, who gives deep affirmation, and always seeks to live more Jesus-like. I think living like that is worth striving for, and for me I’m going to. Not only for me, but also for my boys. They deserve a dad like that, so I’m going to do my best to live that out.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Show attention, affirmation, and ownership of reactions in relationships

Take Aways…

  • Failure #1: A Lack of Attention
  • The Prodigal Son had the Father’s attention even when he wasn’t there
  • We never need to grab God’s attention; we already have it.
  • Failure #2: My Initial Gut Reaction
  • Our reactions might be normal, but not Jesus-like.
  • What comes out of us is because of us
  • Failure # 3: Lack of Affirmation
  • I affirm who he is becoming
  • Have you been giving people your full attention?
  • In trying we will be improving.

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What did you take away? What was new? What failures have you learned most from? What would you add to Andrew’s examples? Which of the failures do you think you struggle with most? Where is God calling you to grow? How can you show some signicant relationships your attention, affirmation, and personal ownership of your reactions?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and talk about your kids about today’s sermon. Be sure to start off by telling them the ways you know you have messed up and failed. Ask them for their forgiveness and how you will be trying to do better. Take a moment and model vulnerability, confession, and trust.

Challenge for this Week: Pay attention, Affirm, And Own your Reactions

 

by Andrew Mills

God Doesn’t Want Your Money…He Wants Your Heart

1390009_45620103On Sunday we looked at the issue of money and wealth from Jesus’ perspective. The big idea was pretty simple, that God isn’t interested in our money, but in our hearts. The point is that our lives organize around our hearts. So if greed holds our hearts, our lives will end organizing themselves around greed, wealth, and more possessions. When this happens our lives shrink, anxiety increases, and fear abounds. Dallas Willard writes: If we value [money or wealth] as normal people seem to think we should, our fate is fixed. Our fate is anxiety. It is worry. It is frustration. The words anxious and worry both have reference to strangling or being choked. Certainly that is how we feel when we are anxious. Things and events have us by the throat and seem to be cutting off our life.” When our life is controlled by greed that is how we feel cut off, and chocked by an insatiable desire that never lets up.

So we talked about how Jesus really isn’t interested in our money. He has lots. What he is really interested in is having our heart so he can give us freedom and life. As long as greed controls us our lives will never be full. If our focus is on money then it’s not on God. So we ended with a simple challenge: Give. Give. Give. Giving breaks greed. Giving ensures that God has our heart. Giving is a way to keep God at the centre. I think one of the reasons that Jesus talks so much about money is because where our money goes, so too does our heart. So if we give our money away, we are also giving our heart to God.

So that’s where we went on Sunday ending with some simple practical ways to give. First, give as a priority. Make it first not just an after-thought. Second, give a percentage. God cares more about giving as a percentage than a dollar amount. So make a practice of giving to protect your heart from greed. And lastly, give progressively. Keep giving more and more, deeper and deeper. The path of discipleship, it’s also the path of generosity.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: God doesn’t want our money, he wants our hearts

Take Aways…

  • God doesn’t want your money
  • Jesus point in Matthew 6 isn’t practical living, but the intentions behind your life
  • Life organizes itself around your heart
  • Greed leads to smaller and less fulfilled life
  • Focus on placing your heart in heaven not what you have
  • “Jesus is very clear. Wealth is a problem” Stanley Hauerwas
  • whatever you value most will direct your life.
  • If you heart is focused on wealth, then it isn’t focused on God.
  • Giving keeps God at the centre of our hearts and lives
  • Giving breaks greed
  • “Generous giving is one of the best external indicators for measuring transformation and spiritual growth” Chris Willard, and Jim Sheppard
  • Three Keys to Giving: Make it a Priority, Make it a Percentage, Make it Progressive

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What did you take away? What was new? How have you seen it true that life organizes itself around your heart? Would you say that money has a hold on your heart? What can you do to break that hold? How much is generosity a part of your life? How much would you like it to be part of your life? What can you do to make a habit of generosity to give you heart to God?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and talk about your kids about the importance of generosity. Talk with them about how giving changes not only others but also us. Ask them about their favorite gifts they’ve ever gotten, and also given. Ask them if there is someone they know who could use a gift to encourage and make them happy. Follow through on any ideas they have.

Challenge for this Week: Give. Make it priority, a percentage, and progressive

by Andrew Mills

Following in the Footsteps of Jesus to Become Like the Father

On Sunday we wrapped up our series on the Prodigal Son, taking a look at the Father. We talked about how we are called to become like the Father. Henri Nouwen puts it this way: “As a beloved son, I have to claim my full dignity and begin preparing myself to become the father…Though I am both the younger son and the elder son, I am not to remain them, but to become the Father” His point is simple. We are not accepted into God’s family to remain as we are, but to act and live like a true family member. Athanasius, an early church father, put it this way: Jesus became human so that we might become like him. And through following Jesus we follow in his footsteps, becoming like the Father.

So on Sunday we pulled out three amazing characteristics of the Father in this parable. First, that his love is reckless. He gives his youngest son all that he asks for even though it hurts him. He gives generously even though his generosity will be abused.

The second thing the father does is to practice active love. The Father is on the lookout the entire time the son is wandering around lost. The text says the Father was watching for him. That he was actively searching for him. This is an example of not just loving feelings, but love put into action. We are called to do the same.

The last thing we pulled out was that the Father’s love is marked by abundance not scarcity. So often we worry that there isn’t enough money, time, resources, or love to go around. The older son in this story shows that disposition. He worries that the Father’s display of love lessens the love, and resources available to him. But the Father says, “All I have is yours”. In the Kingdom of the Father there is excess, abundance, and overflowing love not a scarcity or limited supply. This is how love functions in the Kingdom.

So to close we gave three simple steps, with cues taken from Henri Nouwen, on how to become like the Father. The first was to shed tears, the second was to forgive, and the third was to be generous. Nouwen writes this: “To become like the Father…I have to shed countless tears and so prepare my heart to receive anyone, whatever their journey has been, and forgive them from that heart.”  This is true, unless we shed tears our hearts can remained hard, unmoved, and unlike the father. We are also called to forgive, before people ask. This is the example of the Father. Again Nouwen writes with startling simplicity and beauty, “It is through constant forgiveness that we become like the Father”. And lastly, we shared that we must begin to believe in the abundance of the Kingdom and live lives of generosity. Again Nouwen was our guide writing, “Every time I take a step in the direction of generosity, I know that I am moving from fear to love”. This is the process to become like the Father to move away from fear to love.

So we closed with a few simple questions for reflection and action.

  • Who are you angry at rather than broken over? Can you shed some tears this week to soften your heart?
  • Who are you holding a grudge with? Can you let go? If not, read this parable again and again until the picture of God painted in this so grabs your heart, that unforgiveness lets go.
  • And lastly, where are you not being generous out of fear? Then this week find a way to be generous.

I think these questions, and this quest to follow Jesus matters tremendously. Because the only thing that will change this world is when we start to live, love, and look like Jesus. And that only happens as we follow in his Jesus’ footsteps, in the power of the Spirit, and the direction of the Father. So may we all take some steps forward this week in following Jesus.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: We are to following the Father’s Footsteps

Take Aways…

  • The sons are to become like the Father
  • If our picture of God is off, our lives will be off
  • The Father is one who loves recklessly
  • Respect that is demanded never leads to a relationship
  • The Father’s love is active, and proactive
  • The Father’s love is marked by abundance not scarcity
  • The parable is an invitation to follow Jesus, in our becoming like the Father
  • Jesus became human so that we might become like him. Athanasius
  • “Here is the God I want to believe in: a Father who, from the beginning of creation, has stretched out his arms in merciful blessing, never forcing himself on anyone, but always waiting; never letting his arms drop in despair, but always hoping that this children will return so that he can speak word of love to them and let his tired arms rest on their shoulders. His only desire is to bless.” Henri Nouwen
  • “Jesus is the true Son of the Father. He is the model for our becoming the father”. Henri Nouwen
  • To become like the Father we have to learn to shed tears.
  • “To become like the Father…I have to shed countless tears and so prepare my heart to receive anyone, whatever their journey has been, and forgive them from that heart.” Henri Nouwen
  • To become like the Father we have to learn to forgive first.
  • “It is through constant forgiveness that we become like the Father” Henri Nouwen
  • To become like the Father we have to be learn to be generous.
  • “Every time I take a step in the direction of generosity, I know that I am moving from fear to love” Henri Nouwen

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What did you take away? What was new? Why would you say it is important to get our picture of God straight? How does this parable help to focus our picture of God? What part of the Father’s actions most spoke to you and for what reasons? How can you start to follow, to become like the Father? Is there someone you need to shed a tear over? Is there someone you need to forgive, or give to? How might you do that this week?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and talk with you kids about the picture of God painted in this parable. Talk about how God is actively loving, how his love never runs dry, how he gives such grace to us. Talk to them about why you follow this God, and how you might try to this week follow him deeper. What might you do with your kids? Listen more, spend more time with them, forgive some of their annoying habits? What can you do to show them love like the Father?

Challenge for this Week: Shed a tear over brokenness, forgive someone before they ask, and give to someone generously

by Andrew Mills

Why Being Lost isn’t about Location but Closeness

murilloOn Sunday we jumped into the story of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15. Last week we looked at the lostness of the younger son. This week we looked at the lostness of the older son. Which is odd because often in casual readings of the story the older son doesn’t seem lost – but he definitely is.

Jesus here is teaching to two specific groups mentioned in the text. The first are the crowds, the broken, the tax-collectors, and the sinners. In the story the parable of the younger son reaches out to them. To the ones who have broken the rules and are far from the Father’s embrace.

There was a second audience though as well: the Pharisees and Teachers of the Law. To this group Jesus tells the second half of the story of the older son. A son who was lost because he kept all the rules and like the younger son was also far from the Father.

The Older Son is clearly lost because being lost isn’t about location but intimacy with the Father. When the Father welcomes the younger son home, the older son stands outside and refuses to join in the celebration. He refuses to join in with the Father. He creates distance between the two of them. And the reason why he is standing outside is actually stated by the older son. He says that he is outside and refusing to go in because he has never disobeyed the Father.

And it is precisely at this moment that we see how keeping the rules can keep us from the Father and God. Because the older Son reveals that he has been following the Father not because he loved the Father, but because of what he could get out of the Father.

Timothy Keller puts it this way:

“The hearts of the two brothers were the same. Both sons resented their Father’s authority and sought ways of getting out from under it. They each wanted to get into a position in which they could tell the father what to do. Each one, in other words, rebelled – but one did so by being very bad and the other by being extremely good. Both were alienated from the father’s heart; both were lost sons…Neither son loved the father for himself. They both were using the father for their own self-centred ends rather than loving, enjoying, and serving him for his own sake. This means that you can rebel against God and be alienated from him either by breaking his rules or by keeping all of them diligently”

The point is that it is possible to distance ourselves from the Father by breaking the rules and by trying to keep them out of the wrong motives. If we follow the commandments of God so that God owes us, so that we guarantee blessing, or that our lifestyle and desire are assured, we are missing the point. To follow God for any other reason than God is worth following is to miss the point and miss God.

So on Sunday we gave three ways to discern our motives in following God. The first was do you expect to get what you want. If your life is built on the expectation that God will create the life you want, rather than the life he is calling you to lead, that might indicate an older brother’s heart.

Secondly, an older brother’s heart can be seen when there is grudging duty in following God. If we follow God out of a sense of obligation rather than anticipation for the kingdom we may be missing the point. We are called to give our hearts freely to God, not out of a twisted sense of resentful compliance.

And lastly, when our lives demonstrate a lack of joy we may have an older brother’s heart. The reality is that joy cannot live in a heart that is filled with resentment. So if our walk with Jesus has a discernable lack of joy, there may be resentment and an older brother’s heart.

So on Sunday we concluded our talk by asking each person to examine why they follow God. And if there is, we gave this simple next step: join the party. The Father comes out to the older brother and invites him back into the party. So if for any reason, like resentment, bitterness, self-righteous, or pride – you’ve missed out on the party, make a choice to accept the invitation, put aside everything and join the party. Because the truth is the party with the Father is where we want to be.

If, like the elder brother, you seek to control God through your obedience, then all your morality is just a way to use God to make him give you the things in life you really want” Timothy Keller

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea Why are your following God?

Take Aways…

  • Being lost isn’t about a location, but a state of your heart.
  • Jesus is writing to two specific groups: rule breakers, and rule keepers.
  • As Christians the Older Brother relates to us
  • Being lost to the Father isn’t about geography but intimacy
  • “The lostness of the elder son, however, is much harder to identify. After all, he did all the right things. He was obedient, dutiful, law-abiding, and hardworking” Henri Nouwen
  • The Older Son is standing outside the party because as he says, “I have never disobeyed you”
  • “Pride in his good deeds, rather than remorse over his bad deeds was keeping the older son out of feast of salvation” Timothy Keller
  • The older Son has been obeying the Father not because he values the relationship but because of what he wants out of the relationship.
  • To seek God for eternal life is to seek eternal life, while to seek God for a meaningful existence is to seek a meaningful existence. A true seeking after God results from an experience of God which one falls in love with for no reason other than finding God irresistibly loveable” Peter Rollins
  • Indicators of An Older Brother Heart
    • Expectation for God to Give us What We Want
    • A heart of grudging duty
    • A Lack of Joy

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What did you take away? What was new? In your life have you ever been like the Older Brother? What is your natural response when people receive deep grace – celebration or resentment? Is there anyway in your life that you are like the Older Brother now? What steps can you take to make sure that you don’t become like the Older Brother?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and talk to your kids about why its important that they follow your guidance and direction. Then take a moment and talk to them about how its even more important about the motives behind their actions. Tell them how happy it makes you when they clean the dishes because they love you. Tell them how much joy it brings you when their heart is in the right place.

Challenge for this Week Put aside any resentment and join the party

by Andrew Mills

Wandering Lost and Finally Finding Home

300px-Rembrandt_Harmensz_van_Rijn_-_Return_of_the_Prodigal_Son_-_Google_Art_ProjectOn Sunday we explored the first of three sermons on the Prodigal Son (Luke 15). In this sermon we looked at the prodigal son and how we are often so much like him. How we too have left home, and left God in so many countless ways. What is remarkable is that it is God’s love that allows us to leave.

Henri Nouwen puts it this way: “The Father couldn’t’ compel his son to stay home. He couldn’t force his love on the Beloved. He had to let him go in freedom, even though he knew the pain it would cause both his son and himself. It was love itself that prevented him from keeping his son home at all cost. It was love itself that allowed him to let his son find his own life, even with the risk of losing it….Here the mystery of my life is unveiled. I am loved so much that I am left free to leave home.”

We are loved so much that we are free to leave. Sometimes the leaving is harsh and sudden, like in the story. Sometimes it’s slow and subtle. But it happens nonetheless.

Again Nouwen writes: “Anger, resentment, jealousy, desire for revenge, lust, greed, antagonisms, and rivalries are the obvious signs that I have left home”. This is true. These are all signs that we’ve left the home of the Father full of grace, acceptance, and love. We’ve left home for a distant land where we become used, abused, and neglected. This is what the prodigal son experiences and he comes to his senses. And decides to return home. This decision though is often so difficult because when we leave the Father’s side we walk into darkness and confusion. Nouwen again wisely writes: “The farther I run away from the place where God dwells the less I am able to hear the voice that calls me the Beloved, and the less I hear that voice, the more entangled I become in manipulative power games of the world.” This is true, the further we run from God the more difficult it is to hear his voice in a world of competing voices.

Yet the son does hear the Father’s voice. He remembers what it was like at home, whereas now he is left alone, struggling, and abused. He decides to walk home and seek to earn back his position not as a son but as a slave. A hired hand. Yet the Father sees the son while he was a long way off…because he was looking. The Father didn’t move on because he didn’t want to move on. He isn’t content till all those who have wandered find their way back home. So he runs to his son not caring that it isn’t dignified. He doesn’t care what other people think, he cares about his lost son. The son shares a speech but the father doesn’t care. Because the father isn’t about what can be earned, but what he can give, which is acceptance, hope, love, and assurance.

So on Sunday we ended by reflecting on how at so many times and places we have been like the prodigal son. That we drift, slide, and move away. On Sunday we ended asking a simple but profound question: will you let the Father accept you? We often say yes quickly but it’s not that easy. Because we need to give up all our speeches, our ways of fixing things (i.e. being a hired hand), our ways of earning love and instead to simply accept the gift before us.

So today I want to ask you the same thing. Will you accept the gift of God’s grace before you? Remember the Father’s focus isn’t on your past or what you’ve done, the Father’s focus is on you.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Love and acceptance are found at “home”

Take Aways…

  • The son leaving is a sign of dying
  • You are loved so much you are free to leave home
  • The Father divides up his life for his sons
  • Away from home people use, abuse, and neglect you
  • “Anger, resentment, jealousy, desire for revenge, lust, greed, antagonisms, and rivalries are the obvious signs that I have left home”. Henri Nouwen
  • “The farther I run away from the place where God dwells the less I am able to heave the voice that calls me the Beloved, and the less I hear that voice, the more entangled I become in manipulative power games of the world” Henri Nouwen
  • The Father saw the son because he was looking
  • The Father hasn’t moved on, because he doesn’t want to move on.
  • The Father doesn’t care what other people think, he cares about his son
  • God isn’t about earning, gaining, or achieving. God is about giving.

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What did you take away? When have you “left home”? Is there any places where you have bee leaving home, slowly and subtly? How can having God’s assurance of love change who you are? How does it feel to be accepted by God? How might you share your thanks with him today?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and sit down with your kids and talk to them about today’s message. Share with them the story of the Father and the Son. If you can promise them the same type of love, that is modeled in this passage. Talk with them about how you love your kids in the same way with acceptance, forgiveness, and a willingness to reach out.

Challenge for this Week:

Receive the Father’s acceptance

 

by Andrew Mills

How a Community Can Launch its Kids

8402_10200932844870242_211848675_nOn Sunday I shared with you three things I think are key in raising and launching kids from our faith community.

The first key I shared was alignment. This is simply where our values line up with our actions. Kids pick out incongruity and hypocrisy like little magnets. We need to ensure that if we are going to have any influence that our values line up with our actions. So often we end up asking our youth and kids to value something we don’t practice. So to ensure this doesn’t happen I challenged everyone to ask this question often: are we living what we are asking? So are we living with grace? Are we living with integrity? If we want our kids to grow up serving, caring, reaching out, and changing lives – it needs to start in our lives.

The second key I gave was ownership. There is currently a move to deeper and deeper outsourcing. You can outsource your marital fights online now. The trouble is that as you outsource things you are giving responsibility to another party or group. And in the case of our youth, they matter too much to ever outsource their development to the school system, social workers, daycares, or even to our local youth pastors. These things are all good and valuable as supports and professionals; but supports and professionals are never a substitute for engaged parents and caring communities. So we need to own our personal responsibility in raising the kids entrusted to our care. Therefore, each Christian needs to ask “how can I contribute to launching our kids well?” What can you do to ensure the next generation thrives and succeeds? Can you be a mentor, can you give your time, your resources, your care and love? If we are to launch our kids well we need to own our responsibly in raising and launching.

And the last key to launching our kids well was that we need each other. The truth is that the world teaches our kids that living for money, self-satisfaction, or happiness is important and fulfilling. Unfortunately this isn’t the gospel. The gospel is that living for others, and living for something worth dying for is the reason to live. Stanley Hauerwas puts it this way: What we do when we educate kids to be happy and self-fulfilled is to absolutely ruin them. Parents should say to their kids “what you want out of life is not happiness but to be part of a worthy adventure, you want to have something worth dying for”.

And this is why we need each other. We need a faith community that practices and demonstrates what this type of life looks like. We need new role models, and heroes. We need everyday ordinary people who follow Jesus in the reality of their lives. We need each other. So I ended with encouraging each person to share their story of why they find following Jesus compelling, how they are doing it, and what they are learning. Because if we are ever going to be a counter-culture to the world of fame, wealth, and self-interest, we will need to share our stories.

So those were three keys: aligning our lives with Jesus, owning our responsibility, and working as a community. There are surely others, and things you might add. But I think it’s a pretty good start. But if you were to add anything what would it be? Because this is a conversation worth having…

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Launching the next generation requires: alignment, ownerships, and togetherness.

Take Aways…

  • We have all been influenced by parenting for good or bad
  • If you are a Christian you are a parent – modeling, and living an example for the kids around you
  • Christians, single and married, are parents. “Parent” names an office of the Christian community that everyone in the community is expected faithfully to fulfill. Stanley Hauerwas
  • Three Keys to Parenting: Alignment, Ownership, and Each Other
  • Alignment: Having our values line up with our actions
  • Are we living what we are asking?
  • Our youth need role models…they need you
  • Ownership: Taking responsibility rather than outsourcing
  • Our kids matter too much to give our responsibility to raise them away
  • Each Other: To create a community that makes faith real
  • What we do when we educate kids to be happy and self-fulfilled is to absolutely ruin them. Parents should say to their kids “what you want out of life is not happiness but to be part of a worthy adventure you want to have something worth dying for”. Stanley Hauerwas
  • Application:
    • Am I living what I’m asking?
    • How can I contribute?
    • Share your story

Adult / Group Discussion Questions What surprised you? What made you think? What made you laugh? What did you take away? What was your life growing up with your parents? What about your parents “parenting style” would you like to use or leave behind? What other keys do you think there are to launching our next generation well? In what areas are you “living what your asking”? In what areas aren’t you? How can you contribute to raising and launching this generation well? Who can you share your story with?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and sit down with your kids and talk to them about today’s message. Share with them how you want to live with alignment and if they notice you saying things your not practicing to talk with you so that you can change. Talk to them about the models and examples of faith in the church, and why following Jesus matters for you. Lastly ask them how you can help them – how you can contribute to launching them well. Ask what they need and how you can help.

Challenge for this Week: Walk with alignment, choose to contribute, and share your story with someone.

by Andrew Mills

Changing and Shaping Decades of Life

On Sunday we asked one simple question. How do you leave a legacy that lasts and lingers into the future? How do you ensure 1161714_36739445that how you are living now matters?

And what we discovered was a simple truth, that the decisions you make today soon become the stories you tell, which become the legacy you leave.

We looked at the story of Joseph and how after being sold into slavery, thrown into prison, and have untold difficulties all because of his family, comes face to face with them again and now he is in power. Joseph has a moment where he can exact justice, and retribution from his family. Instead he chooses grace.

The question is how did he know to do this? This is not natural. Ask any 3 year old about sharing and you’ll discover grace doesn’t come easily. So how did he know to do this? Because he saw it practiced years before. Because he heard stories of it as he grew up. Because one decision by his uncle shaped his life.

We discover in Genesis 33 that Jacob (Joseph’s dad) meets up with Esau after wrecking his life. Jacob steals Esau’s birthright (inheritance, power, and position) and his blessing (his connection and future). Esau is furious and vows to kill Jacob. Jacob runs. But eventually Jacob’s past catches up with him, as it always does. And he is forced to meet Esau. Esau shows up with 400 of his armed men. So Jacob astutely guesses that this won’t be a fun family reunion or picnic. Esau is here to kill him and take everything back that he’s stolen. And so slowly Jacob comes to Esau. But Esau does an amazing and remarkable thing. He gives grace, he forgives, and he makes a decision that shapes generations. And there is a small detail buried in Genesis 33:2 and 7. Joseph is mentioned. Joseph is there. Joseph is part of that moment of grace and forgiveness. We can only assume over the years Jacob telling of Esau’s generosity and forgiveness. As they sit around campfires, and the dinner table sharing about how this one moment changed the destiny of their entire family.

So fast forward decades and we find Joseph in the same situation. And he now knows how to act because of a decision of his uncle. Esau’s decision has echoed into the future and shaped the future of his entire family. It is an amazing thought isn’t it? That one decision can shape generations down the road. But its what the Bible teaches. We landed on this main point: that the decisions you make are the stories you will tell, and the legacy you will leave.

So what kind of decisions are you making? What kind of legacy are you leaving? What if your grandkids, or grandnephews or nieces take their cue from your decision today? Maybe you thinking of giving up, leaving, forgiving, forgetting, or moving on. What if this is the decision that will shape generations?

What it does is make sure that we think about how we are living. Because one thing is for sure, how we live now is leaving our legacy for the future.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: How you are living is the legacy you are leaving

Take Aways…

  • We want lives that matter and last
  • Decisions last and linger into the future
  • Joseph and Jacobs family were dysfunctional
  • We spend time contemplating our hurts, grudges, and desires for revenge
  • Why does Joseph give grace rather than justice?
  • Grace and love don’t come naturally
  • Joseph knows what do to because he’s seen it done
  • Our decision today last decades into the future
  • The decisions you make becomes the legacy you leave
  • The legacy you leave doesn’t start when you die, it starts now with how you live
  • What stories are you living and leaving?

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What made you laugh? What did you take away? Was this take on this passage new? Who has left a legacy in your life? What decisions you’re your past have lingered into the future? What type of a legacy are you leaving? What type of stories will the future generations tell about you?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take your kids and sit down and talk about today’s message. Tell them how you know the decisions you make will affect their futures. Make a vow, a pledge, or a promise in front of them to make the best decisions possible knowing that these are thing that will linger into the future. Promise them to live stories that matter

Challenge for this Week:

Live a legacy worth leaving

by Andrew Mills

Power, Dominance, Submission, and Jesus-Style Love in a Marriage

929639_40861409On Sunday we explored the potentially difficult passage of Ephesians 5 where Paul writes, “Wives submit to your husbands…Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church”.

What we came away with was an understanding that no healthy relationship is based on power and dominance. We realized that we are all called to submit to each other out of reverence for Christ (Eph 5:21), and that the way Jesus related to others was through submission, humbleness, and sacrifice. The same things are too part of our marriages: submission, humbleness, and sacrifice.

We explored how Paul elevates woman, with the expectation that they are partners in marriage making a choice to be like Christ. Then Paul expects the same thing of husbands reminding them of their obligation to love like Jesus. This means buying flowers once in a while isn’t enough. This means husbands remembering the anniversary every other year isn’t enough. It is not until we have loved our wives with such a depth of self-sacrifice and giving, that all their flaws vanish because of the depth of our love that we haven’t done our job. Paul raises the bar pretty high actually.

We ended up landing on this truth that relationships based in power and dominance lead to division and difficulty. But relationships based in the type of love shown by Jesus Christ lead to life. Marriages based on self-sacrificial and submissive love last.

So we ended off asking ourselves a tough question. Are we sacrificing in our marriages, friendships, and relationships? Are we caring and putting the other person first? Is our love self-centred or sacrificial? Because I believe it’s when we love like Jesus that relationships last and give life.

We ended off by quoting Wendell Berry who I believe is worth quoting again. He writes this: “The proper question, perhaps, is not why we have so much divorce, but why we are so unforgiving. The answer, perhaps is that, though we still recognize the feeling of love, we have forgotten how to practice love when we don’t feel it”.

And I think that’s the challenge for all of us married or not. To learn to practice love when we don’t feel it. I think it’s a practice worth learning.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Marriage based on self-sacrificial love leads to life

Take Aways…

  • Our experience with marriage shapes our view on marriage
  • We have a romantic individualistic view of marriage
  • Jesus gives grace to a messy marriage life in John 4
  • Christ is his relationship with us took on a posture of submission and sacrifice not one of dominance and power
  • Striving for power and dominance in relationships wrecks relationships
  • Women in that day and age weren’t a partner but property
  • Paul elevates wives to a position of a partner with a choice to love like Jesus
  • Paul asks the same of husbands to love like Jesus
  • To be the head means source or origin
  • Marriage isn’t about perfection, but an opportunity of reflection – of loving like Jesus
  • Marriage is based on self-sacrificial and submissive love
  • “The proper question, perhaps, is not why we have so much divorce, but why we are so unforgiving. The answer, perhaps is that, though we still recognize the feeling of love, we have forgotten how to practice love when we don’t feel it” Wendell Berry

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What made you laugh? What did you take away? Was this take on this passage new? Where have you seen relationships based on power and dominance struggle? When have you seen relationships based on love and submission succeed? In your relationships are you loving with self-sacrificial love? Are you learning to practice love when you don’t feel it? What next steps can you take this week to pour love into your significant relationships’?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and talk with your kids what you think marriage is based on. Share with them what matters in it. Share with them why it matters. And then share with them some important things to practice and learn before they get married like loving when you don’t fee like it, forgiving if you don’t want to, and taking the first step even if its hard.

Challenge for this Week:

Love even if you don’t feel like it

 

by Andrew Mills

Irresponsibility Kills Roots

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On Sunday we explored a key to all our relationships: responsibility. The truth is that if we want to have deep relationships, if we want to have solid friendships, if we want to have healthy roots in our families, we need to learn to be responsible. Irresponsibility kills roots and kills relationships.

My guess is that in your family and friends the people who bug you the most are in some way irresponsible. They aren’t owning and being accountable for their own stuff. Because the reality is, that whenever someone is irresponsible, someone else has to pick up the slack. So on Sunday we explored this theme of irresponsibility and looked at the first family in Adam and Eve.

What we discovered is that irresponsibility is really easy to see in someone else, but really hard to see in ourselves. So we asked ourselves, “Are we being responsible in our relationships?” Through the story of Adam and Eve we discovered some signs of irresponsibility. The first is blame. Whenever we start blaming, we are trying to shift responsibility. Adam blames Eve for eating the fruit, Eve blames the serpent, and people have been blaming ever since. But if we want healthy relationships we need to stop blaming and start owning our issues. The second sign of irresponsibility is when people start hiding. Whenever you start hiding conversations, maybe your spending, or where you are spending your time there is a responsibility problem. Adam and Eve, right after they eat the fruit, hide so that they don’t need to take responsibility. We need though to stand up and stop hiding and start owning our mistakes, failures, and become accountable. The last sign of irresponsibility was if we are creating new rules. Rules are created to curb irresponsibility, although they never really work. After Adam and Eve’s failure the story of the Bible is really a story of creation of many new rules to curb bad behavior. Finally, with Jesus the rules get thrown out (the Law) and he gives us the task of being responsible (loving God and others). So the point is that if we are needing to create lots of new rules in our families, friendships, or even businesses there is a responsibility problem that needs to be dealt with.

So we ended off asking people to honestly think through this question: “Am I being responsible” Because being responsible in relationships leads to deep roots. And I think that’s what we want. Relationships that last, thrive, and are healthy and whole. But that only happens when we start taking responsibility.

Sermon Notes:

Big Idea: Responsibility leads to deep roots

Take Aways…

  • Irresponsibility always leads to more rules
  • Irresponsibility is easy to see in someone else and hard to see in yourself
  • Am I honestly being responsible in my relationships
  • When people are responsible rules aren’t needed
  • Whenever rules are broken consequences soon follow
  • Signs of Irresponsibility in a Relationship
    • Blaming
    • Hiding
    • Creating New Rules
  • Rules never create responsibility
  • Responsibility leads to deep roots
  • Ways to build responsibility:
    • Stop hiding and start dealing with things
    • Stop blaming and start owning things
    • Stop creating new rules and start taking responsibility

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What made you laugh? What did you take away? Were there any stories or examples Andrew used that you could relate too? As you look in your own life are there any areas where you blame, or hide? Are there things you are being irresponsible with? How can you stand up and start taking responsibility for them?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Take a moment and talk with your kids about rules and responsibility. Ask them if they’d like to live without rules. Tell them that if they’d like less rules, they need to take more responsibility. Talk to them about how being responsible (doing what is right) builds trust and you need less rules. Use some recent examples either good or bad from your own family life about how to illustrate this. Talk to them about giving them more freedom as they show more responsibility.

Challenge for this Week:

Take responsibility in your relationships

by Andrew Mills

Heaven is Here Now…

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On Sunday we talked about the end of the story. We explored the last two chapters of Revelation. These chapters are full of images of life and hope. We read of living waters flowing, bringing healing to every person. We read of a place where chaos no longer reigns. We read of God restoring everything. We read of a place where the sun continually shines bathing people in life, light, and love. We read of how the presence of God is fully there unmediated, and fully available.

And we asked the question that is most obvious: when will these things happen?

The difficult, astounding, and Biblical answer is that in some way they already have. That with Jesus’ resurrection God’s presence is available for all us. Healing of our spirits and souls can now be found. Chaos is beaten, and light begins to stream from the tomb. The hard to grasp beautiful truth is that the future of hope is coming towards us, but it began at Easter with resurrection. So we do not need to wait till the end of time to experience, we can experience heaven now. Because the truth is wherever Jesus is fully present so too is heaven. Heaven is his presence.

We closed with reading a promise, a prayer, and an invitation to all of us today:

“The Spirit and the bride say ‘Come’. Let each one who hear them say, ‘Come’. Let the thirsty ones come – anyone who wants to. Let them come and drink the water of life without charge”.  Revelation 22:17

This promise isn’t about the future but the present. This promise isn’t about what will happen, but what can happen today. Today if you need life, love, grace, hope, and healing. Answer the invitation to come, answer the call and drink the water of life, letting it give you life.

This is what we explored on Sunday and what we will explore for the rest of our lives…how to live in light of God’s presence that is with us today because of Easter.

Sermon Notes

Big Idea: The end of the story is beautiful but it begins today…

Take Aways…

  • What does Jesus death and resurrection mean?
  • God doesn’t cancel our current creation but restores it
  • In Jewish thought the sea can be a metaphor for chaos
  • We can experience living water today
  • You experience heaven now by finding Jesus today

Adult / Group Discussion Questions: What surprised you? What made you think? What made you laugh? What did you take away? What would your life be like if you lived without guilt, shame, or brokenness? What do you need to experience today (life, freedom, hope, etc)? How can you Easter become a reality? How can you welcome Jesus into your life today?

Discussion Questions for Young Families: Talk to your kids about how following Jesus isn’t about just going to heaven, but experiencing heaven here. Ask them what they think heaven is like. Talk to them about how heaven is full of joy, grace, love, fun, and hope. Talk to them about how Jesus wants them to experience that now. Ask them when they’ve felt those things and if Jesus has felt close when they feel loved. Take a moment and pray with them to experience “heaven” in their lives today.

Challenge for this Week

Come to Jesus today…

by Andrew Mills