Tag: God

Sex Talk in Church

So on Sunday we talked about sex. We talked about God’s perspective on it, trying to understand two questions: why was it given and what’s the basis for great sex?

Biblically, God’s design for sex is pretty clear – it’s to unite and connect. When God says a man leaves his father and mother and becomes “one flesh” with his wife in Genesis 2:24,what God is saying is that sex connects. That two people, two lives, two different beings become truly one in a deep sense. This isn’t just a physical oneness but a deep relational, spiritual, and emotional oneness. That’s the beauty of marriage and of sex.

The way then you have great sex is to focus on that oneness. Great sex doesn’t flow out of great desire. Great sex flows out of great intimacy. Relationships are built on intimacy, trust, and commitment, and when you have that – that’s when great sex happens. We read about it in Song of Songs 4:12 how the man says his sex was so great it was like cool, refreshing, living water. He says this happens because of the intimacy, the depth of connection, and the sacredness between him and his bride. Their choice to only choose each other generated deeper and better sex because of the intimacy and connection that was there.

So that’s what we looked at last Sunday, that sex connects, and great sex is based in great intimacy and commitment.

So this week no matter what stage and place you are in whether married, looking, or single and content, focus on building trust and intimacy in your friendships and relationships. Because that’s what really matters and that’s what makes a great friendship.

And lastly, if you want to hear my semi-awkward sharing on sex it will be posted under sermon download shortly. What you won’t get though is the visual of me turning red a few times!

by Andrew Mills

Let’s Talk About Sex…

Studies have shown that the more religious people are, the less comfortable they are talking about sex. This means that Sunday could be awkward because that’s what we’re talking about: sex.

The question is why are we nervous or uncomfortable to discuss sex? Why does everyone else talk about it but we don’t in the church? Why is sex used to sell soap but we become nervous to open a dialogue about it?

Well I think it’s because we get nervous and shy discussing the physical aspect of sex. But in reality sex isn’t just about connecting physically, it’s so much more than that. When you are discussing sex, what you are really talking about deep down is relationships because sex is relational first and physical second.

So on Sunday we are going to look at what does this physical act flow from relationally? How is it meant to function in a relationship? What is God’s plan and design for it? And how does it affect all of us? This sermon isn’t just for married people. This sermon isn’t just for people hoping to have sex. This sermon is for every one of all ages, stage of life, and statuses. This is about what sex says about us and how our relationships work.

So to begin, comment or send me your questions, perspectives, or opinions on sex and the Bible and on Sunday I’ll do my best to answer them and to discover God’s perspective on sex.

P.S. I promise it won’t be awkward for anyone other than me…because my wife’s grandparents are coming…

by Andrew Mills

A Quick Quote to Change Your Day

Read the following quote. Then slow down, and read it again. Lastly read it one last time and let it shape your day.

There are many books that tell us how to find God. But the truth is that God is not lost or hiding. In fact, it is the actual, continuous, omnipresence of God that is so hard for the human mind to fathom.

God is with you, God is near to you, God is a part of every moment of every day. So go out today seeking to just live in awareness of his presence. As Jesus says “Pay attention” (Matt. 24:42). So may we pay attention today and find the God that isn’t lost or hiding but is right with us the whole time…

by Andrew Mills

Fastening Your Grip ~ Clinging to God…

Earlier this week when I dropped off Hudson for daycare he was quite upset. He’s been sick and not at daycare and so has spent lots of extra time with mommy and daddy. So when I went to drop him off he started crying and said “Daddy, no, home daddy, home”. He wanted to go home with me. He literally wrapped his little body around me, grabbing my shirt and neck with his arms, and my body with his legs. He was literally clinging to me.

Eventually we made it through and after I left our wonderful daycare sent me a text saying he was happy and having lots of fun. But I couldn’t get that picture out of my mind ofHudson clinging to me.

Often in the Old Testament we are told to “cling” to God. We read of this in Deuteronomy 10:19, Joshua 23:8; and Psalm 63:7. In each verse we are told to cling tightly to God, to not let go. The Hebrew word is the word dabaq which literally means to cling, hold on tightly to, to cleave to, or to fasten your grip. This is literally what Hudson did. He fastened his grip on me, he wouldn’t let go, he clung to me.

As I look back on this morning I wonder if I have that same desire for God that Hudson had for me? Am I clinging to God that much? Am I truly fastening my grip on him deciding to never let go? Would I notice if God wasn’t right next to me? Am I that close to him? These are deep questions but important ones to ask.

So today ask yourself this…What do you cling to?

by Andrew Mills

Evaluating and Judging God’s Bride

Something recently has occurred to me. Often after Sunday’s service I ask Krista, “How did it go today?” Or more honestly, “How did I do?” And I’ve started to notice something. That those types of questions don’t seem to help my soul, and my connection with God. As I’ve become aware of this, I’ve started to notice, as well, that often after any service people ask these types of questions:

  • How was the service today?
  • What did you think of the sermon?
  • What was the worship like this morning?
  • How did it go?

But did you notice something in those questions? They all create distance between us and “the church” or the community.

These type of questions put us in a stance above or beyond what was happening by creating space for us to judge, evaluate, or critique. These questions pull us out of community to evaluate rather than driving us deeper into community to create and connect. While I personally want to pursue excellence each and every Sunday these types of questions don’t lead to excellence, because they negate relationships. They lead to distance, space, coldness, and critique rather than healthy engagement, relationship, creativity, and community connection.

So I’ve decided to ask different questions after each and every Sunday. Now I don’t ask “How did I do”. But instead “What did God do this morning?” Instead of critiquing I search for God’s involvement. This has led to a big difference. Now I often ask Krista these questions:

  • How did you and others sense and discover God today?
  • Were you engaged and ready to hear God speak?
  • What surprised you and spoke to you?
  • How did you contribute to your community today?
  • What is God asking you to do out of your connection this morning?

Do you see the difference? I think that difference is important because it reminds us we’re all in this together.

So this Sunday on the drive home rather than asking, “What did you think?” Ask a different question and discover a different way to look at community. My theological hunch is that going into a service searching for God, for how you can contribute, and connect will change not only the service for you but for others as well.

So this Sunday go expecting to meet God rather than to judge his bride and see how it changes you and your community…

by Andrew Mills

Money Can Buy You Happiness

Money can buy happiness. It’s true and if you’d like to see the study that shows it I’ve posted the video below.

But for the quick version here’s how you can buy some happiness. Spend money on someone else.

Studies have shown that giving and spending money on others actually increases your happiness more than if you would spend it on yourself. Basically the social sciences are now catching up to what the Bible has always taught us: that being generous leads to a fuller life.

So on Sunday we’re actually going to look into this a bit deeper. We are going to be talking about money and finances. Now often when this has been talked about in the church it has been done poorly. This leads people to thinking that the church is just in it for money, that the pastor is trying to get a raise, or that giving gets tied to guilt. But this isn’t the picture of money and finances that the Bible paints. In the Bible guilt isn’t to drive our giving, instead grace is to guide our giving.

So on Sunday we are going to be looking at the topic of money from a different angle: through the lens of grace. We will explore how, when money and giving gets tied to grace, new life forms, how joy explodes, and how you connect not only with God but others. So I hope you can join us.

To prepare why not try this today: take the money you would have spent on yourself for coffee, for lunch, or something else and spend it on someone. See how it makes you feel when grace gets tied to giving. And then we’ll explore it deeper on Sunday. But today why not go out and buy some happiness…

by Andrew Mills

Chasing Bubbles ~ Developing Wonder

I’m just going to state the obvious. My son has more fun than me at any given moment. Seriously. My life compared to his is dull, dreary, and lacks luster. Any parent knows immediately this truth: kids love to play with bubbles proportionally more than we really like to do anything. Bubbles bring out this amazing sense of play, awe and excitement in my son that happens so naturally and easily.

This is important to note because Jesus says in Luke 18:16, “The Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.” And as I ponder this verse in connection with my son I’ve realized something. He has more wonder than me.

I think this is part of what Jesus is saying in this verse and that if we are to become childlike I believe it means, in some sense, to regain our sense of wonder. Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote, “The whole earth is full of his glory, but we do not perceive it; it is within our reach but beyond our grasp”. He continued to write of the importance of wonder, awe, and astonishment. I believe children grasp what we do not perceive as adults: that there is wonder, awe, and God’s presence all around us. If we want to grow closer to God we need to allow a spirit of wonder to capture us. Heschel says, “The insights of wonder must be constantly kept alive. Since there is a need for daily wonder, there is a need for daily worship”.

This is what I am learning to do through Hudson. I now stand in awe of bubbles as they move, sway, and swirl through the sun. We stare at the stars in amazement as he yells “that one, that one, that one”, as he personally seeks to discover each star in the sky. We slow down and watch butterflies dance across the sky holding our breath in excitement.  And as I do this with him he is teaching me wonder, and teaching me to find God…

So today do something that is truly “wonder-full” and seek to discover God as a child would, with wonder, awe, innocence and joy. Then share where you found wonder or who it was with. For me obviously the best “wonder-hunter” in the world is Hudson. So today we’re going to explore this world together and find God in the midst of it…go have fun!

by Andrew Mills

Overcoming Death

On Sunday we talked about death. We opened up a dialogue on an important topic that affects us all but is so foreign to us at the same time. After I shared on Sunday, a friend came up to me and said death is supposed to be foreign to us because death was never to be.

This is so true but is so often misunderstood. So often people think of death as part of God’s will and plan. But death has never been, and won’t ever be part of the plan of God. Jesus died to conquer death. Death is an enemy and not an agent or activity of God.

So on Sunday I shared from 1 Corinthians 15 where Paul writes that death is an enemy. And yes it is true that death is the last enemy as Paul put it, but death is not an enemy that lasts. There is a future rushing forward to meet us where death will be swallowed up whole (Is. 28:5), where every tear will be wiped away (Rev. 21:4), where all will be restored (Acts 3:21). This is the future that needs to shape us. But how do we do that? Well I have two suggestions. First, don’t let death count the time and second, we get through it together.

My dad died two years ago on Sunday. It feels as if I’ve lost him for two years. But this is counting time through the lens of death, rather than the future that is before me. Because in reality, I am now two years closer to being reunited with him. God’s future is two years closer to becoming a reality. And yes, the loss I feel is real, and it is deep. But the loss isn’t permanent. So while I wait I will remember that a future is coming where all will be restored.

But how do you get through the “waiting” or the space between now and the future? Well I believe you get through it together.  Andrew Root writes this, “God is present when death is shared, when suffering is joined”. So we get through to the future God has for us together. We share in the lives of each other refusing to let death have the last word. We remember memories, events, and people together.

So my sermon in one sentence was this: Death is wrong, death won’t last, and we get to the future promised to us together.

But sermons aren’t meant to just be heard, but to be lived. So this week why not go and join someone in their loss. Ask them about a loved one, send them a prayer, or mark a memory. Go and join someone and bring God with you…

Discussion Questions

  • Questions for Adults: How have you viewed death growing up? What part struck you most about the sermon today? Is there anyone that you’ve been separated from because of death? How does today’s sermon help you in that separation? How can you help others who have recently experienced the separation of death?
  • Questions for Young Families: Why is do you think that death is hard? Are you scared of death at all? Share how Jesus promises that death will never win, and that he gives us life.
  • Challenge for this Week: Walk with others in your community and neighborhood who have experienced loss
by Andrew Mills

Silencing Death and Learning to Speak

On Sunday I’m going to be preaching about death. In preperation for Sunday I thought I’d write a brilliant series of blog posts on death. But the reality is I’m struggling to simply write just this one…

Eberhard Jüngel wrote,  “Death is mute, and renders us speechless.” That’s what I’m feeling. I’m feeling speechless, drained, and unsure of what to say. This is why I hate death; it simply takes too much…

So why write at all? Why preach on death? Why not just talk about something else?

Well, because then death would win. When we refuse to talk about it, to enter into it, or to journey with people struggling with it, death wins because it separates us, it isolates us, and leaves us speechless. So on Sunday I’m not going to let death win and together we are going to talk about death. We are going to explore why death happens, what death really is, how you get through it, and how you can face it.

I know for some in our congregation this topic will hit very close to home. It will for me as well, because Sunday is the anniversary of my dad’s death 2 years ago. Krista asked me, wouldn’t I rather just take the Sunday off and be by myself? And the anwser is no. I won’t let death stop me from doing what I love – preaching. I won’t let death stop me from following my calling. And I won’t let death separate me on a hard day from the family and church that I love. Death has already taken too much, and I won’t let it take anymore.

So Sunday we will stop death from rendering us speechless. We will talk about it, heal through it, and discover that death is the last enemy, but it is not an enemy that lasts…

And who knows maybe next week I’ll have something brilliant to write. Being honest and open will have to do for today…

by Andrew Mills

Guest Blogger: My Wife! Lessons Learned as a Mom

Since Andrew got me to be our guest speaker yesterday at church, he also thought that it would only appropriate that I also be a Guest Blogger for today. I made the comment yesterday that I think that since I am doing his job, he should have come into my office and do mine for a day – and I am still holding onto that idea!

Yesterday we had a fantastic Mother’s Day celebration including a baby dedication and home-made gift giving. Andrew and I also got to share something super exciting with the church family – that we are going to become a family of four sometime early November!

We are very excited to welcome our little boy or girl into our family and as well into our Plattsville Church family too!

After sharing this exciting news, I talked about a few things that I have learned about God as a mom, things that I have been taught my whole life, but have been made real through the ups and downs of being a mom.  If you feel brave, you can listen to it online it will be posted later on this week here. However, I am nervous to even encourage this idea as this was my first time speaking and I was a wee bit nervous – but if you dare, you can hear all about these lessons of God through experiences and stories of my little man, Hudson.

I have been so blessed through this small little boy since the moment he was born. We are blessed that Andrew’s dad was able to be a grandpa for three short months.

We are blessed that he is going to be a great Big Brother. I know that Andrew feels blessed that his first word was ‘Ball’, and how he loves to play soccer. And for me, I feel blessed that through loving this little boy, I have learned to love and lean on God like I never have before and decided to share more about this with you all.

I shared on how God’s love is unconditional and that He is concerned with every detail of our lives. I shared on how we are to depend on Him and that he indeed feels all the same pain and sympathizes with us. And I said that for all these things, God first wants us to want Him. These simple concepts, ones that we may have been taught our whole lives, have taken on a new meaning through my little boy. Take a moment and think back to when God has shown you his love, mercy, compassion and desire to be with you, think of a time when you felt God’s presence beside you or His arms around you as you cried. Take a moment to just sit and thank God for being there during these moments, making Himself real to you. He wants to be with you, during the good times, and also during the times when you would rather that He was far away – He is still there.

So that’s what I’ve learned about God through being a parent. But what about you? What have learned about God from being a parent, through a parent, or though an adopted “parent” in your life? Because the beauty of our faith is that we learn from each other, and discover a God worth knowing…

by Andrew Mills