So, the other day I had a very long and stressful day at work. It was also a day where our kids were…well…kids, which means they were difficult that day. I get home and Krista is stressed, I’m stressed, I have about 45 minutes between being home and needing to leave again. And, we are just trying to talk together, and kids are yelling and it felt a little bit like mayhem in the house.
That’s when I noticed Asher hammering our new hardwood floor with a hammer.
And, while I wish I could tell you that my initial response was loving, kind and patient, instead I said, “Go to your room!!”
I went and looked at all the scratches, the damage and the scarred floors, and that didn’t help me calm down. So, I went to go up to his room to “discuss” this with him. And by “discuss,” I mean “ensure he gets how bad of a decision this was.” And, just before I walk in his door, God literally stopped me with a thought.
I don’t know if you believe that God can speak to you, but I do. And, what I heard in my spirit was clearly from Him because it certainly wasn’t coming from me. He said, “What matters more to you? Scarred floors or a scarred heart?”
And, that one question really changed everything. Because sometimes in the middle of stressful moments, we forget what really matters. And, what really matters isn’t my floors, but my relationship with my son. And, in that moment, walking into the room, my floors were already damaged, but my relationship with Asher wasn’t. And, if I walked in angry, and trying to make sure that my three-year-old “really gets” what he did, I could scar his little heart.
So, I walked in and Asher was under the covers. So, I crawled into bed with him, and he instantly gave me a big hug and said, “I so sorry daddy – it an accident.”
If God hadn’t spoken, I probably would have tried to convince him that it wasn’t an accident because he had done it purposely. But because I was more concerned with scarring his little heart than a scarred floor, I just hugged him and said, “I know, I love you.” And, we just laid there for a long time and he actually fell asleep.
I share all this because God changed my priorities in that moment, which changed my behaviour. The truth is this, people matter most always. Relationships are more important than floors. My connection with Asher is going to outlast our floors anyway, but if I prioritize the floors over him, I can end up with a scarred relationship, not just a few dents in the floor.
So, the question this raises for me is just this: Are there any areas of your life where you’re prioritizing things more than people? Where you care more about stuff than relationships? Or where floors matter more than little hearts? Because when God asked me that question, it changed things. And, most importantly, it changed my behaviour and how I interacted with my son who means the most to me.