So, the other day I had a very long and stressful day at work. It was also a day where our kids were…well…kids, which means they were difficult that day. I get home and Krista is stressed, I’m stressed, I have about 45 minutes between being home and needing to leave again. And, we are just trying to talk together, and kids are yelling and it felt a little bit like mayhem in the house.

That’s when I noticed Asher hammering our new hardwood floor with a hammer.

And, while I wish I could tell you that my initial response was loving, kind and patient, instead I said, “Go to your room!!”

I went and looked at all the scratches, the damage and the scarred floors, and that didn’t help me calm down. So, I went to go up to his room to “discuss” this with him. And by “discuss,” I mean “ensure he gets how bad of a decision this was.” And, just before I walk in his door, God literally stopped me with a thought.

I don’t know if you believe that God can speak to you, but I do. And, what I heard in my spirit was clearly from Him because it certainly wasn’t coming from me. He said, “What matters more to you? Scarred floors or a scarred heart?”

And, that one question really changed everything. Because sometimes in the middle of stressful moments, we forget what really matters. And, what really matters isn’t my floors, but my relationship with my son. And, in that moment, walking into the room, my floors were already damaged, but my relationship with Asher wasn’t. And, if I walked in angry, and trying to make sure that my three-year-old “really gets” what he did, I could scar his little heart.

So, I walked in and Asher was under the covers. So, I crawled into bed with him, and he instantly gave me a big hug and said, “I so sorry daddy – it an accident.”

If God hadn’t spoken, I probably would have tried to convince him that it wasn’t an accident because he had done it purposely. But because I was more concerned with scarring his little heart than a scarred floor, I just hugged him and said, “I know, I love you.” And, we just laid there for a long time and he actually fell asleep.

I share all this because God changed my priorities in that moment, which changed my behaviour. The truth is this, people matter most always. Relationships are more important than floors. My connection with Asher is going to outlast our floors anyway, but if I prioritize the floors over him, I can end up with a scarred relationship, not just a few dents in the floor.

So, the question this raises for me is just this: Are there any areas of your life where you’re prioritizing things more than people? Where you care more about stuff than relationships? Or where floors matter more than little hearts? Because when God asked me that question, it changed things. And, most importantly, it changed my behaviour and how I interacted with my son who means the most to me.

The other day, I was reading Matthew 25 where Jesus says He will be found in the most unlikely places; places we often don’t look or expect to find Him. He says that he will be found in the poor, the naked, the vulnerable, the oppressed and the lonely. And then I read this passage from Jean Vanier in his book From Brokenness to Community,

“Those with whom Jesus identifies himself are regarded by society as misfits. And yet, Jesus is that person who is hungry; Jesus is that woman who is confused and naked. Wouldn’t it be extraordinary if we all discovered that? The face of the world would be changed. We would then no longer want to compete in going up the ladder to meet God in the light, in the sun and in beauty, to be honored because of our theological knowledge. Or if we did want knowledge, it would be because we believe that our knowledge and theology are important only so long as they are used to serve and honor the poor.”

There’s a lot that I would like to comment on and pursue in relation to this quote and the passage in Matthew 25. But, what I think both Vanier, and more importantly Jesus, are trying to do is to move us from thinking about these words to putting them into practice; that the face of the world would be changed if we moved from competing to rise up the social ladder to focusing in on serving and honouring those around us.

And how this practically works its way out in your life and mine is challenging. It might look different in yours and in mine. But I think the next step for all of us is the same and it’s just this – For us to take time and ask God’s Spirit what we should do? How should we serve and honour those around us? To ask Him to give us eyes to see others as God does. Because when we start seeing people with God’s eyes, it changes everything, because it changes how we see everyone and everything.

So on Sunday our amazing Family Pastor Gen Epp, was teaching my oldest son Hudson in Sunday School. He’s 6 and thinks he’s 16. And at one point he yelled out, “Gen stop the class…I have to go tell my dad something right now.” Gen, because she is wise, and has kids, shared with Hudson, “Right now probably isn’t the best time, if you can wait five minutes, because your dad is preaching in front of everyone right now.” Hudson’s response was this, “That’s okay he won’t mind if I interrupt him, he’ll talk with me.”

And while if I’m honest, I would totally mind if he interrupted me when I was preaching to ask me about Lego (which is what he wanted to discuss). But his response did get me to thinking – Hudson feels I’m accessible to him. And while he might think I’m a little too accessible, I think that this is a good thing, and here is why.

What Hudson showed on Sunday was that he feels he is more important to me than my job. And this is incredibly important because Hudson is more important to me than my job.

The point is that sometimes our everyday actions demonstrate the opposite to those who love us. We check emails during family supper, we field work phone calls out on a date, or rather than being present with our kids are thinking about our to-do lists etc. The point is while many of us would agree family matters more than work, it isn’t shown or communicated.

So while clearly Hudson talking to me about Lego when I’m preaching, is not helpful. What I am happy about is: that in his little heart he feels and knows that he matters most to me. And that got me excited.

So today why not prove that to the people you love the most. Why not show them that they a matter deeply to you. Maybe you’ll just put away your phone, send some flowers, give them some attention ~ but what Hudson taught me on Sunday is showing your family that they matter is a habit that matters.

Here is something we know deep down, but don’t know that we know it.

Whoever controls death, controls our lives.

What I mean by this is that whoever holds the power of life and death in their hands, has power. This is true in so many ways. It’s true in our health, relationships, governments, and most of all faith.

Death has the ability to end things, which is why it has power. Therefore, whoever controls death has power.

Think of it this way, the state controls the power of death, so it has judicial power and weight. If we do something wrong the state can end our lives (either through imprisonment, or through capital punishment). The point is that since they control those outcomes, they have power, leverage, and strength.

The same thing can be said to happen in medicine. That since doctors can help save us from death (i.e. control death) they have power. We will follow their advice, and make changes as necessary. They have power that flows from their knowledge of life and death.

And these examples are not bad things; they are just real life things. We need government, and we need health care. My point is a larger underlying one. That whoever controls death, in some manner or fashion has power (either positively with health care, or negatively with the state).

This is even true in a small way in relationships. Often the person who cares the least in a relationship has the most power, because they can and might threaten to end the relationship (i.e. the power of death).

I know for many this post might be a bit difficult to follow or apply, but this deeply matters for our faith. If it is true that controlling death and life brings power, then we can understand why Jesus had to die.

Jesus had to die to conquer death. Jesus had to die to wrest power from death. Jesus had to die to conquer death, so that we might live.

This is what the Bible is getting at when it says that Jesus gives us victory over sin and death (1 Cor 15:57), that God will swallow up death for all time (Isaiah 25:8), that death is the last enemy to be defeated (1 Cor. 15:26), and render the devil powerless by taking away the power of death (Heb 2:14).

The point is that death no longer has any power, because Jesus has stripped death bare, shown him to be empty, and has taken away his power. Death still happens, but it doesn’t need to control or drive us because we know death doesn’t win. Death isn’t the end, and we don’t guess at this – we know this because Jesus has shown it. Jesus rose again, proving death is no longer something to be feared because death doesn’t last.

So when death says – “I will end your” life, future, friendship, whatever it maybe, we no longer need to live in fear, or in its control. We can live free because of Jesus Christ because death lost, and it no longer has the full power to end things, because Jesus can resurrect things.

My main idea is this: that whoever controls death has power, and that Jesus now controls death because he beat it and conquered it. And that’s good news.

On Sunday we talked about chasing after God’s vision for our lives. We shared that a meaningful life, is a life lived in God’s way. That meaning comes through the life that God has for us.

So we tackled how do you start to live this way? That if God gives you a passion, a vision, or a burden to make a difference – how do you start to follow it?

Well, the odd answer found in Nehemiah is to wait.

Nehemiah is given an amazing vision from God and then does something unique. He waits before moving on it (Neh. 2:1). But what we discovered is that in the waiting time he wasn’t idle, he wasn’t passive and he wasn’t simply reluctant to get going. He was praying, he was planning, and he was preparing for the right moment to step out.

The temptation is to rush forward, or to give up on the vision God has given us in the waiting time. Nehemiah though, doesn’t rush forward or give up, instead he prays, plans and prepares. Nehemiah believes that while he is waiting, God is orchestrating things. Nehemiah knows the timing needs to not be“right”, but God’s timing, before he moves forward. So he waits for God to open the door and then courageously walks through it.

Andy Stanley writes, “A vision rarely requires immediate action. It always requires patience”

So my challenge was this: if you are in the waiting time, are you using it well? Are you planning, preparing and praying? Because God’s path for you to make a difference won’t open until you’re ready. So trust that God is orchestrating things, but also prepare and pray.

Because the message of the gospel is that nothing in our lives is wasted. Even the waiting time isn’t wasted, and God wants to use it to ready you to make a difference…

I love to preach. I really enjoy it. I think about it plan it out and try to do my best.

But this week I get a break. Because this week another Mills’ is preaching for Mother’s Day ~ my wife Krista.

So this week I got to see her try to put together a sermon, a teaching, or a talk. I got to see her struggle a bit and realize that it isn’t easy to do each and every week. The best part was when she was struggling to find a verse and asked me. I immediatley answered and told her the chapter and verse. She was initally shocked and then said “oh right of course you’d know – you read the Bible for a living.” Not quite true but a funny comment nevertheless.

The reason I’m looking forward to Sunday so much is because I get to see my wife speak. But even more than that the Bible is clear that God is speaking to each of us. God is teaching each of us, and a part of all of our lives. So the real reason I’m excited for Sunday is to learn. I’m excited to see what being a mother has taught Krista about God, because I want to grow through her expereince. That’s what being a part of a community is about growing not only together but through each other as well. So on Sunday we’ll be growing togehter through my wife’s teaching on teh God who is a part of all our lives.

And so if you come on Sunday please be sure to do one thing for me. Please smile lots because Krista’s a bit nervous…but she doesn’t have need to be. Speaking’s part of our family…