Category: Leadership

What’s Killing the Church

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Today, I want to talk about what’s killing the church and its witness. And no, it’s not what you’d expect – it’s not sin. It’s not a lack of discipline. It’s not weak or lukewarm Christians, or whatever else is lamented in today’s world.

I think what’s killing the church is busyness.

And, I say this as an incredibly busy person. This is snapshot of what a recent day looked like for me…

  • Meeting starting at 6 AM.
  • Back to the house to get kids and drop them off to school.
  • Meetings and sermon writing throughout the day.
  • Volunteering in Asher’s school.
  • Hockey in the evening for the boys.
  • Followed by school (I had an exam).
  • Followed by prepping for a large NGO Board that I sit on.
  • Followed by cleaning the house and talking with Krista.

And, I say this not to be like, “Look at how busy I am! I must be awesome!” I say this because I think the drive to get more stuff done each and every day is what is killing the church. Where do you and my neighbours show up? Where is whitespace for God opportunities and interruptions?

Where am I even giving God space to move in my day?

I bring this all up because I bet your life isn’t all that different. Sure, the pieces might be different. Sure, some of what you do might be different. But, I bet the first thing you’d say when I ask how your week is, “Busy.”

And, that’s what needs to change.

Because, busyness doesn’t expand God’s kingdom.

And, I’m not talking about being lazy, rather I’m talking about being available. Available to God. Available to interruptions and those around you. Available to meet and connect with others.

Doug Fields writes, “Busy is the enemy of neighbourly.”

That is so simple, and true.

As Christians, we are called to be neighbourly because we are called to change neighbourhoods.

I write this as a challenge today. Cut some things out of your schedule to make space for God’s schedule. Busy is the enemy of neighbourly, and busy is the enemy of a whole life. So, make some changes.

That’s what I am going to do today.

 

by Andrew Mills

Quit Keeping Score

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Today’s blog post is a little honest or vulnerable for me to write, but I think it’s important. I want to let you in on where I struggle the most…

I struggle with a deep desire to be perfect, to succeed and be good.

And, that doesn’t sound that bad on the surface. It makes me driven, it makes me get things done, it makes me be a better dad and husband in many ways. It means that I don’t tend to drop things, and I will push things forward. It means you can count on me.

It also means I carry a brutal weight around, all the time.

Because, I can’t be perfect and the truth is (while it’s awkward to say), sometimes my desire to be perfect is greater than my desire for God. This is where this becomes downright dangerous, because all of sudden what matters more is my expectations, rather than God’s. What matters most then is moving things ahead, rather then sitting with God. What matters most is perception of perfection, rather than the real, honest, messiness of life. And, what this leads to at its most base level in my life is this…

I keep a scorecard of success and losses.

While you may not personally be driven to be perfect (that may not be your struggle), what I think you can relate to is this idea of keeping score. Because I believe this “keeping score” mentality drives so much that we measure ourselves  against our brother or sister, our parent’s expectations, our co-workers, or that neighbour down the street. We measure ourselves by what “other parents do” or what “society says we should do.” And, we end up keeping score to know that we are worthwhile and meaningful.

We keep score to know that we matter.

In my desire to be perfect, I keep score all the time. But, this is just absolutely true: There is no keeping score in God’s kingdom.

Because whether you are perfect or not, whether you can keep up with your perfect sister, or that co-worker, or your perfect parent friend, you have this truth…

You are loved by God.

You are a child of God

You are redeemed by God.

I think what we need in life is less keeping score, and more submission to the fact that you matter and are already included in God’s kingdom. I write this as much for me as anyone else.

What if you gave up keeping score?

What if you gave up striving for all that stuff around you? What if you just rested in the fact that you are loved, you are okay and God is for you? What if we let that centre us and lose the scorekeeping cards? What would life look then?

Because the short answer is this: Your life would look better, wholer, and certainly more full of God. 

So, give up the scorecard this week and see how it feels to simply be accepted by God.

 

by Andrew Mills

Where to Look for Leaders

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Culture, and an even bigger leadership market. What I mean by this is that many people will pay for courses, training, books (or whatever!) on how to develop and find leaders.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with any of this. I, too, go to the conferences and read the books. But, there is a current discussion in the leadership world about a leadership deficit.

What this means is that as the Baby Boomers age, there is a leadership vacuum and people needed to fill it. In essence, there is a leadership crunch. And, there are numerous opinions on where to find the right leaders and how to develop them.

I don’t want to offer my opinion on this, instead I’d like to reflect on a theme I see in the Bible: The best leaders are first servants.

I just believe this is true. We see this in Jesus’ teaching when He says that leaders aren’t called to lord it over others, but to serve (see Matthew 20:25-28). We see it in Peter’s teaching in 1 Peter 5:2-3 in his calling to serve one another. And, we see it in Matthew 23:11-12 in which Jesus says the greatest among you will be the servants.

I think the reason for this is obvious: Leadership positions don’t create character, serving does.

The best leaders are also people who understand serving and aren’t into leading for themselves, but rather leading for others.

So, I write all this because if you are business leader, a hockey coach, a pastor or leading anything at all, and you want to find more leaders, the place to look isn’t at leadership conferences. The place to find the best leaders isn’t from a group of people vying for the position.

The place to find the best leaders is wherever someone is faithfully serving. 

That’s the place to start, because these people will already understand that leading isn’t about themselves; it’s about others, and that’s what matters.

by Andrew Mills

Why Church Isn’t About Me

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I recently read this in a book and it really hit hard…

“What is killing the church today is having the mission focused on keeping Christians within the church happy, well fed, and growing. Discipleship is continually pitted against evangelism and championed as the endgame for the church. The mission cannot be about us – it must be about those who have not crossed the line of faith. The problem is, we like the mission to be about us. And this has caused a spiritual narcissism to invade the church.” (James Emery White, Meet Generation Z)

Wow, right?! He’s not pulling any punches.

His point is that as soon as the focus of the church turns inward, you not only lose focus, you miss out on the point of Christianity. But, it’s so easy, it’s so subtle and it can happen so quickly.

I know this because it can happen with me.

It can be so easy to lose focus and get the priorities wrong. It can be so easy to put myself in the centre. It can be so easy to put my preferences, my personal inclinations and my desires first. It can be so easy to put my needs before the needs of the world around me.

White goes on to say this…

“The individual needs and desires of the believer have become the centre of attention, which is why most churches have as their primary focus reaching and then serving the already convinced. So the mission isn’t making disciples but caring for them.”

Those are challenging words.

But, if we can hear his words honestly, I think he points out a huge temptation for churches – the temptation is to subtly focus on caring for disciples, rather than making disciples. And, of course it matters to care for disciples, but when that becomes the goal or primary focus, you won’t make disciples. The sequence matters. Making disciples will lead you to caring for them, but if you focus on caring for disciples, you won’t make any new ones.

So, I bring this all up because I believe White raises a valid temptation for all disciples of Jesus – the temptation to make the church about us and not others. And that happens in hundreds of simple and subtle ways. But, I know what God is asking of me – to resist that temptation and to join Him in His mission “to go and make disciples.”

Because, it’s not about me; it’s about reaching those who aren’t here yet.

by Andrew Mills

When Christians Fight Online

christianfight.pngToday, I want to talk about a reality that I bet many of you have seen on Facebook, Twitter, blogs posts and comment sections all over the Internet: Christians fighting online, publically and with vitriol (which is a big word for being nasty).

I bring this up because, not only do I think that this harming the reputation of the church, I also think it’s harming the Christian community and people.

Now, of course, right off the bat there are going to be some who say, “But shouldn’t we stand up for truth?,” “These issues matter!,” or “Shouldn’t we be able to debate within Christianity?” And, of course, I agree with all of that. We should remain firm to what we believe. Some issues do matter immensely and need to be addressed, and, of course, discussion and debate have always been part of Christianity and always will be.

My problem isn’t with the truth, discussion or addressing important social issues. My problem is subtler than that: It’s about what goes on in our hearts. My problem is when Christians actually start to enjoy all the debate, division and arguing.

Because, what I’m starting to see all over the place isn’t just people who love certain issues, topics and perspectives. It’s people who love to fight. It’s people seeking out to engage others in nasty back and forth arguments. It’s people who call out others and say “farewell” to so and so. It’s people who intentionally provoke, not to discuss, but to divide, distance and ridicule other positions. It’s people who actually relish in the fighting, provoking and dividing over whatever their issue is.

And, the problem with this is ridiculously obvious: If we love to fight, we are probably forgetting to love. If we love the conflict, the fray or the issue more than people, we are missing the point. Because, in a fight or argument, the goal is to win, convert and conquer – all of which can lead us away from loving. And, loving others isn’t optional in the Christian walk, but when we start looking for fights to have, we’ve stopped looking at Jesus and loving others.

So, to be clear, I’m not saying that certain issues don’t matter, that discussions are pointless or that we shouldn’t stand up for injustice.

No, what I want to raise to the surface is something that has happened in my heart, and something I think I see online all the time. Sometimes under the cover of standing up for truth, justice or whatever, what is really going on is that we are angry, looking for a fight and more interested in winning our theological or social agenda, rather than loving and listening.

Please hear me! Some things need to be changed. Some things are evil. Some things need to be called out. But, before we ever call someone else out online, I think it starts with calling out the sin, hate, anger and a pathological love of division within ourselves.

And, I’m pretty sure Jesus said something similar.

by Andrew Mills

Celebrating the Right Decisions, not Just Disciplining the Wrong

Hudson Sweeping Driveway WORDS.pngHere is the truth about me and my parenting: I am far more likely to try to correct bad behaviour than to really praise good behaviour. And, what I mean by that is I tend to focus in on correcting poor behaviour and, while I’ll appreciate good behaviour, I can forget to really celebrate it.

Of course, it matters to correct bad choices, but what about encouraging good decisions? This is something I want to change in my life. I don’t want all my efforts going into course-correcting bad decisions, but rather I want to celebrate and really encourage my kids when they make the right decision.

The other day, we had a chance to practice this. I came home and found something totally unexpected. I drove in our driveway to find Hudson sweeping my neighbour’s driveway with her chatting away with him. Apparently, he was playing outside, saw her sweeping her driveway, got a broom and went over there on his own to help. He just took the initiative and acted.

When I went over to see him, Hudson told me why he was helping her. He said, “Dad we help our neighbours. That’s what we do, right?” Which I agreed to, and then he said, “Also Dad, she needs help. She is O-L-D.” (Hudson spelled it out loud because apparently he thinks older people can’t spell, and this, of course, was the way to share that fact sensitively. Now our neighbour is quite a bit older than we are. In fact, her kids are all retired along with her. So, different life stage).

But, here is why I mention this story: This was an opportunity to celebrate a really great decision. A chance not to just say, “I’m proud of you,” or “Great job Hudson!” but an opportunity to really show him that I was proud of him. To celebrate this, I got him his favourite donut from Tim Hortons, and we shared his donut while I shared why I was proud of him. For sure, this is a little thing, but it made a huge difference for Hudson.

I write all this to remind us all of one thing: What if you celebrated someone’s good decision, rather than just complaining or trying to correct their bad decisions? What if we put some effort into really encouraging, thanking and appreciating the surprising and unexpected good decisions that happen around us? Because, what I think might just happen is we might see more good decisions happen.

So, I’m learning to celebrate the great little decisions that happen each day. Because, I don’t want my kids to just not do bad things. I also want them to do the right things.

by Andrew Mills

The Problem Inside All of Us

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I was reading the other day, as I often do, and the following quote made me stop completely. I actually couldn’t read any more for the rest of the day.

“How can we Christians claim to proclaim atoning reconciliation through the cross of Christ when we contradict it by refusing to be reconciled with one another, or to allow reconciliation through the body and blood of the Saviour to be translated into our Church divisions.” – Thomas Torrance

Read it again, if it didn’t stop you the first time.

Torrance’s point is for us to examine how we can proclaim that God reconciles us to Himself when we refuse to practice that with each other. How can we hold onto our divisions, debate and disagreements when Christ died to bring us together? How can we share the good news of reconciliation when we refuse to give up our inner Church disputes and divisions?

The easy (and preachy) thing to do would be to call out all the pastors who continue to divide over silly things. The easy thing to do would be to call out all the Christians who continue to hate one another and not forgive. The easy thing to do is to get on a soapbox and slam all of you who continue to hold onto grudges and divisions, and ignore the fact that Christ brought us together.

That would be easier, but not godly.

Because, the truth is, I struggle with holding onto bitterness and grudges sometimes. The truth is, I think my theology is obvious and right, whereas others is misguided at best and stupid at worst. The reason this quote stopped me isn’t because it highlighted the problems in the Church (although it does that); it’s that it highlighted the problems in me…

  • That I would rather divide than work through things.
  • That it’s easier to be right instead of reconciled.
  • That sometimes I love my theology, my perspective and my opinions more than other’s.

Torrance’s point reminded me that I’m part of the problem. That the church’s tendency to place personal opinions, past hurts or theological preferences above people is a problem. Jesus died to reconcile us together, and we shouldn’t contradict it by refusing to reconcile with others.

So, this post isn’t meant to point out anything wrong in anyone else, rather it’s meant to remind us that often the problem isn’t with “out there,” but “inside us.” And, that’s why I stopped reading. Because I realized I had some things to work on.

 

by Andrew Mills

You are NOT a Layperson

I want to be honest and say I’d like to get rid of the word “layperson.” And, if you’ve never heard it…well, that’s good…but here is what it means: “A person without professional or specialized knowledge in a particular subject.”

At a base level, there is nothing wrong with this idea. That in some spheres or disciplines we might be a hobbyist or an amateur at something – like being an amateur filmmaker or electronics enthusiast or racing hobbyist.

The problem happens when this terminology gets infected with consumerism and spreads into the church. Because, here is what can subtly and quickly happen: We end up with two classes of Christians – the professional and the layperson. And, what can easily happen is that we expect more from the professional than the layperson, or we encourage the layperson to live vicariously through the professional.

Eugene Peterson puts it this way: “If I can be convinced that layperson designates who I am…then I am wide open-market for experts who are ready to tell me how to live my life and, in some cases, even live it for me…And so, I end up delegating the operations of my soul to the experts. I no longer deal with God myself – I’m a layperson, after all…following Jesus gives way to following Jesus-experts.”

I couldn’t agree more. This is a problem in the North American church. We are tempted to follow Jesus-experts, rather than get out into life itself and follow Jesus for ourselves.

Now, of course, this doesn’t mean we don’t need people who give up decades to studying the Bible and God. Our theologians, scholars and pastors can help us and they matter, but they can’t follow Jesus for us. We can’t delegate the core of following Jesus to experts who are trained in evangelism, knowing the Bible, hospitality or teaching. They can point us to Jesus, help us understand Jesus,  train us in the way of Jesus, but they can’t follow Jesus for us.


I write all this to remind you to not buy into the idea that you are layperson in the church. If you are a follower of Jesus, you ARE the Church. And yes, some of us have been doing it longer than others (and we should look to these people for help!), but they can’t fill our role or our calling

So, we need our models, leaders, pastors and teachers. But, let’s never let “following Jesus give way to following Jesus-experts.” Because the world needs all of us – including you.

by Andrew Mills

Be a True Leader

beatrueleader.pngI really like learning and practicing good leadership as much as I can. And, it’s a very important topic that’s leveraged highly in seminars, training and such, especially if you’re in the business world.

But, what I’ve noticed is my own personal reaction to some leadership training and discussions. I’ve discovered that sometimes I react strongly against it and really dislike it. At other times, I’m really drawn to it and want to practice it. I seem to have two differing reactions to them: One is allergic, the other is excitement.

As I reflected on this, I realized that what causes me to either get excited or dismissive about a leadership talk is based on this one question: What’s the goal and the motive?

Sometimes in these talks, the point seems to be about creating and drawing a bigger crowd and more of an audience, or to find success and be recognized as a leader. And, when that seems to be the goal (or is subtly influencing the direction of a leader or talk), I really dislike it.

At other times, though, the talk seems to not be about drawing a bigger crowd, but rather focused on empowering, training and releasing more leaders. It’s about the impact any of us can have on those around us. It’s not about the size or reach of our influence, but rather about stewarding it well, so that lives are changed. And, it’s this style of leadership I deeply resonate with and respond to.

I write all this because, in our world today, there is a lot of talk about leadership. There are plenty of podcasts or blogs out there about how to grow in leadership and impact people. In the midst of all that, I want to remind us that the true goal of leadership isn’t to amass a bigger following, but rather to empower others. True leadership is other-centred, not self-centred.

So, grow in leadership, whether you are a business leader, stay-at-home mom or dad, teacher, landscaper, retired, etc. But, make sure the leadership you are growing in is always about others and not just about you.

 

by Andrew Mills

What You Need to Know About Great Leaders

leadershipblog.pngI read a lot of leadership books. I listen to a number of leadership podcasts a week. I send out a monthly leadership newsletter to our staff. So, I really appreciate and value the necessity of good leadership.
The problem is that the Bible talks about something so much more than “leadership.” The Bible talks about serving. For all of our culture’s focus on being a leader, the Bible seems to want to place the focus on serving and being a servant. And, this is a crucial distinction to make in our current culture and world.
To be a leader, you often talk about being in front, ahead and being an example, and – here is the main point – where people can see you. Because you want to show them the way, you want to inspire them and you hope to motivate them forward through your efforts.
But, true service has the same inspiring outcome, but through a different means. You are not out front getting recognition, but in the background doing what needs to be done. You aren’t trying to be an example, you are simply being faithful. The point isn’t for people to notice you, but for you to notice others.
It is very easy to fall into the leadership trap in our current culture. We think that what will save the church is leadership – that what we need is better and truer leaders. And, while I’m certainly not against leadership, I think we need to regain a focus on serving. It is so easy to assume that to be a leader means being a leader like we see in our culture, but, for Jesus, leadership doesn’t look like our culture, it looks like Him and serving.
Jesus says, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.” (Matthew 20:25-26, NLT) 
While I think being a leader matters immensely, what I know is this – that the best leaders were first, and primarily are, servants. And, the worst leaders are those who never serve, but command and direct.
So, I write all this, with books on leadership on my shelf, this article going out to you and a desire to lead well as a reminder: Leadership is never the main thing, service is. 
And, for all our culture’s preoccupation with leadership, I think it’s time to do something countercultural: Serve.
by Andrew Mills